Time to Laugh Out Loud…
If College Students Had Written The Bible
* The loaves and fishes would be replaced by pizza and chips.
* The Ten Commandments are actually only five - but they are double-spaced and written in a large font, so they look like ten.
* The Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.
* Paul's letters to the Romans would become Paul's e-mail to the Romans.
* Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
* The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather finals.
* Tower of Babel blamed for foreign language requirement.
* Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a freshman.
* Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.
The rejection letter reply
Thank you for your letter of March 24th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.
**Going to college or university is one of the great rites of passage in Western society. Here we take a look at this tradition through the words of the rich and famous (and a few others)....
* Samuel Beckett: Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
* W. H. Auden: Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep.
* Ruby Wax: College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
* Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income--which he then spends sending his son to college. - Bill Vaughn
(Compiled By Nazia)