|Home | Issues | The Daily Star Home | Volume 2, Issue 43, Tuesday May 3, 2005|
Sadia Moyeen, Beutician, La Belle
1. About a year and a half back, I had thick, straight and silky hair. Back then I had no hair problems. I've always oiled my hair weekly and used henna. From about 6-8 months back, I've been suffering from a lot of hair fall, and now, I have about one-third of what I had before. The quality is still the same. My forehead has grown bigger, and the little hair that I have lies flat on my head, making my round face look larger. I cut my hair twice, once in a U shape and now in steps, and used various home remedies, but to no avail. I've tried shampoos like Garnier Fructis, Herbal Essence, Pert, and whenever I use conditioner I lose even more hair. Please advise me on how to get my thick hair back. How long should I wait to notice any difference? If I need to see a doctor, please recommend someone good, and how helpful will it be?
2. I have dark marks around my lips and over the laugh lines around my lips. How can I deal with this? I have never bleached or waxed.
3. I am skinny and underweight for my age, in spite of a healthy diet. How can I gain weight? I hope you can help me. Thanks!
(1) Stress can sometimes be the cause of hair loss. Apply oil
and gently massage scalp. Make a pack with fresh amla paste 2 tbsp,
yoghurt 1 tbsp, egg ¾
(2) Massage laugh lines every night with Vaseline petroleum jelly before going to bed. Bleaching will help lighten the dark shades around your mouth as it is probably due to light hair growth in that area.
(3) The structure of your body depends to a great extent on hereditary factors, but there is no doubt that it is possible to put on weight with the right exercise and diet regimen. Start going to a gym where a fitness instructor will guide you on the use of light weight lifting exercises which will eventually add muscle weight to your body as well as increase appetite. If possible swim everyday before lunch.
A. Fair polish will work for you. The very first application should produce a cleaner brighter skin, so go for it. Moles can be removed using laser and other technologies. It is a simple procedure, which leaves a red swollen patch for a week or 10 days, but this disappears soon enough.
Q. Dear Sadia, I am facing some problems and I desperately need your help. My hair has become dry. I oil my hair once a week. I shampoo and condition my hair twice a week. Should I continue doing it? I also heard that using egg on the hair helps to make it more silky. Is that true? What kind of shampoo should be used for dry hair? I really want my hair to be soft and silky. Is there any way by which I can get that kind of hair? Is there any possibility that blow-drying would damage my hair? I have an oily skin on the T-zone for which pimples, blackheads and white-heads are always visible on that particular place. What can be done to avoid this? Is there any home remedy I can use in order to reduce the oil on my face and acquire a glow? I have been told to use fair and lovely anti-mark cream, but I also heard that these products are not good and are usually fake. Should I really use it for the spots? Should I use Garnier Light? Does it work? I would gladly appreciate it if you could help me with my problems. Thank you
A. Yes, continue with the oiling and twice a week shampoo and conditioner, but buy ones that that are specially made for dry hair. If possible have a cream conditioning treatment at a salon once a month. Over blow-drying will make the hair drier. Blow drying even once a week is fine.
For your oily T-zone, have your white and black heads removed once a month at a salon. Use a toner everyday on the oily area wiping it with a cotton swab.
Use a clay-based mask on your face twice a week. Go ahead and use fair and lovely anti-marks cream; just make sure you buy it at a good reliable store.
INTERPRETER OF MALADIES
Dr. Nighat Ara, Psychiatrist
Q. Hello Doctor. I am writing about two situations here.
1. It's about everyone in society in general. Whenever I talk to people, I find every one is envious of the others' successes. It is a very common phenomenon among men and women. Everyone is talking behind everyone else's backs. Moreover, when a girl becomes successful, all anyone talks about is how 'pretty' or 'cool' she is and so on, as though a girls success is not based on her work only.
How do I deal with these kinds of conversations?
How do I keep myself from being influenced, and stay popular and acceptable to all at the same time?
Ans : Jealousy and envy are normal human emotions. People feel envy at others' success as it reminds them of their lost chance or hope, broken or unfulfilled dreams of life etc. This negative emotion tells us about our limitations, shortcomings and inadequacies. Constructive use of this emotion can lead to self-development whereas destructive use leads to a behaviour that is harmful to the self or to others.
Passive aggressive (ranging from character defect to personality disorder) people express their resentment and envy towards apparently fortunate people and release their aggressive feelings in a relatively safer way, by back-biting (they tend to avoid confrontation).
"Projection" is a psychological defense mechanism, which refers to perceiving and reacting to unacceptable inner impulses and their derivatives as though they were outside the self. A tendency to judge others readily (by calling them greedy, selfish, jealous etc) develops when someone bears strong preconceived ideas about others and reacts easily on the basis of that bias. Psychological bias and prejudice leads them to attribute all negative stuff on others and discount their own personal flaws. Psychological defenses are mostly unconscious processes and can be brought to consciousness by psychological therapies. Negative thinking pattern leads one to over generalize a particular situation (e.g. "everyone is speaking ill of others", or "every one is envious" etc).
Making derogatory comments about successful women and trying to minimize their talents can be explained from different perspectives. Insensitive men often make these comments naively without realizing how it can impact the woman who has earned success with hard work. Some men make these comments deliberately as part of a well-orchestrated systematic propaganda to damage a woman's career and personal life. Again, some believe this is the best way to flatter a woman (how many women fall in that trap?). There are certain issues, which actually demand zero tolerance (e.g.: terrorism, corruption, gender discrimination etc.). This kind of sexism and sexual harassment at the workplace are detrimental to a woman's progress. Weak men (who feel threatened by successful women) try to uphold their gender superiority because of the automatic privileges they get out of it; some do it to exercise their power and control over this vulnerable section of the population. Some women may support this because of their excessive dependency need on men, and a general inability to overcome their personal gender inferiority feelings, or for some vested interest. All these contribute further to gender rage.
I believe, your response will depend on your perception of the motive behind and your commitment level around the issues mentioned above. Sense of humour and healthy boundary sense can help to protect the vulnerable self. Delete, trash or block those garbage messages before it causes long-term damage or send them back to its owner. Protest, educate or resist, whatever works best for you. Hanging out with people with different values and beliefs is enjoyable only if everybody agrees to disagree, have tolerance for others views and respect each other for who they are. An excessive desire for popularity might require oneself to suppress the inner self for the sake of conformity. That would eventually bear the risk of losing the real self and leading a fake, pretentious life. Staying popular and acceptable to ALL can also be regarded as an irrational, unrealistic goal.
To be continued...
By The Way
Facts about orange juice
Time to consume juices. A survey shows that orange is the most sold juice around the world. Here are some facts about the delicious drink. It's full of vitamin C, potassium and folic acid. Research at Harvard found that high consumption of citrus juice reduced the risk of a blood-clot stroke by 25%. Orange juice also has anti-cancer powers, research says: Animals fed orange juice are less likely to develop early colon and breast cancer.
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