Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home | Volume 2, Issue 65, Tuesday October 4, 2005




Beauty Talk

Sadia Moyeen , Beautician, La Belle

Dear Sadia,
I want to know about using facial scrubs. Should I use it two times a day? I have oily skin, so what is the best way to use it? Another thing is that if I do 'fair polish', is it harmful to my oily, pimple prone skin? Thank you. Farhana

Ans. Fair polish is excellent for oily skin as it tends to draw out excess oil off the skin. Facial scrub should be used twice a week only but be careful not to scrub off fresh pimples or they will scar.

Dear Sadia,
I have been wearing glasses for the last 6 years. Eventually I will shift to contact lenses when I can afford them. But over the past few weeks I have noticed dark marks on the roof of my nose because of wearing glasses. Please tell me how to get rid of these marks. Sakib

Ans. Dear Sakib,
This is due to the long term use of glasses. Get rid of them as soon as possible and apply a cream with hydroquinone 2% available at pharmacies on the spot every night until it fades.

Hi Sadia!!
I'm 17 and a regular reader of your column. I am losing my hair in large quantities. It has become quite rough, dry and I also have split ends. But it stays very silky and straight after I shampoo-and-condition but as soon as I get out of the house it turns rough, dry, frizzy and unmanageable (but reverse is the case in air-conditioned rooms). What should I do to maintain this softness even as I get out of the house (especially while I'm in school)? And another thing, the front layers of my hair is getting wavy in spite of my hair being naturally straight. What should I do?
One more thing. Ever since I came back from a splendid visit to the mountains my fair skin has obtained this yellowish tinge, as if I have jaundice. What should I do? Sumayra

Ans. Dear Sumayra
Use a leave- in conditioner for your hair and use a hair iron for the front ends of the hair to keep them straight.
Use the above mentioned hair pack for falling hair (Ans 1)
Fair polish is great to get rid of a tan.

Dear Sadia,
Hope you are doing well. My husband insisted I wear a bikini when we were in Hawaii but I disappointed him because I have dark patches and a few pimples on my hips. It has been there for the last six months. Please help me get rid of them. Can you please tell me the procedure on how to wax at home? How do I prepare the wax solution at home? Hope you'll answer me. Thank you,
Silver Shadow.

Ans. Dear Silver Shadow
Massage your body with olive oil, then apply a pack with
- uptan- ½ cup
- yoghurt-1 tbsp
- Rice flour- 1 tsp
Let is semi dry and then massage off. Repeat every week.
For best results waxing should be done professionally. Wax is made by cooking lemon juice and sugar together until it becomes sticky enough to pure hair out.

Interpreter of Maladies

Dr. Nighat Ara, Psychiatrist

Dear Dr
I tend to switch jobs every year. I don't like to stay at one place for long. Just after a year or less I have the feeling that I have to move again. I don't know why I am like this. I want to change because now people will stop giving me jobs. Please help.
Afsana Parveen

Ans: The information you have offered here is too little to make a comment on your situation. However, I'm making some assumption with the hope that you might find something in it useful or applicable in your situation.

Frequent change of job (once a year!) sounds problematic and at least you have made it clear that you too are not comfortable with this frequency of switching jobs. Then ask yourself why do I do it? Are you scared of settling down because you are more familiar to a crisis oriented living? e.g. "I am unemployed again, my life is on the rocks again!" However crazy it sounds, this is a self-defeating behaviour people tend to adopt to avoid taking more responsibilities that come along settling down in life. How can you move on with life if you get stuck at one point? This can be a psychological defence (rationalization, intellectualization etc. to make it look like a genuine excuse!) to avoid realities of life. You have mentioned, "Just after a year or less I have the feeling that I have to move." What does this "move" signify to you? Positively I deserve a better job than this, I work better under challenge and a move is a challenge to me, I'm still looking for what I really want to do in life etc. or negatively- not getting attached/not getting dependent/ not trusting etc. Whatever be the primary feeling underneath this restlessness, that needs to be addressed first so that you can stop going in a circle. Besides, if the behaviour is feeding your negative feelings only, then it is important to work on those feelings as well. Otherwise no matter where you go the feelings will follow you.

Adjustment Disorder is a mental condition where there is an inability or maladaptive response to an identifiable life event/stressor. Usually the symptoms appear within three months of the life event/stressor and persist no longer than six months. Staying longer in a particular job might require one to take up more responsibility, work more independently or compete with others etc. that could be perceived as a stressor. One might get habituated to respond to a particular stressor by running away. Impressing people in short-term relationships could be an easier job than maintaining it for longer duration. A fear "I may blow up, everybody will then know my true colour" can also be a trigger to run away.

Psychotherapy or counselling can help people identify the underlying issues of a maladaptive behaviour. Change can happen only after the root cause is identified and actions are taken to deal with it in a healthier way. You are aware of the negative consequences of frequent change of job, so probably it is time to face those issues more courageously than hiding behind a maladaptive behaviour.

By The Way

Removing rust

Cutting fruits and vegetables with a rusty trusty old knife is asking for more iron than you bargained for. And your health may suffer adversely as well. To remove rust from knives and scissors, immerse them in a container of vinegar and boil for half an hour.

Under A Different Sky

By Iffat Nawaz

The price of you and the price of me

I went to get a hair cut, it wasn't my usual hair dresser, the one I owe my soul to, the one that consumes a larger part of my pay check than I would like; but apparently that's the way it works around here if you want to look decent you need a $80 hair cut with millions of criticisms on the wrong usage of leave in conditioners and blow dryers. But hey, no one is forcing me; I am walking away with a styled head full of financial worries convincing myself it was worth it.

To ignore the big hair bills, I tried a new salon assuming it would be cheaper. As I sat there and saw him pick out every strand of my hair and pointing out the dryness of my dead ends, I knew. I knew I was in for a doom, this was going to be pricy, he wasn't a stylist he was an analyst. He was going to analyze my hair, give a full report, perhaps a mediocre cut but the charge will be $$$, and I sighed for falling back to the same cycle again.

When I walked out with my newly washed, newly cut, newly dried hair I felt happy. The power of rejuvenation through superficial satisfactions always gets the best of me. The make up counters at department stores always call my name, I can not resist but walk over to smell the new fragrances, the new fall shades, the magic potions in tiny bottles costing more than my whole week's meals. I buy them, I use them, every day, pricy moisturizers on my face, eye liners and eye shadows, different shades for different times, and then to eradicate it all even pricier removers. Once you have been introduced to the good world of pricy layers, going back to the cheaper (and therefore somehow worse) products is quite impossible.

I sat down one day to calculate how much I spend on these types of accessories, I couldn't finish! It seemed like it was actually more than my bank ever held, so I wondered by investing on such things have I increased my own value in some way besides smelling like expensive cosmetics. I didn't know the answer to that, it was not a black and white "no" or perhaps I didn't want it to be a "no" admitting I have dumped my dollars day after day creating newer standards for the same old me, whose eyes really don't look bigger with a certain eye pencil or lips really don't look fuller with a certain gloss.

I thought back to Bangladesh and all the cosmetic products which are available there now. I was amazed to find certain brands being sold, they were not comparatively cheaper than USA, but that didn't stop anyone, it offered a thinner and better promise in sticks called lip liners and eye brow enhancers, so who ever can seemingly afford it owned it.

While growing up I remember hearing numerous times from my Mother how she only got a few new outfits during one year, and how she took care of everything and how spoilt we were for having numerous outfits and uncountable in-trend junks. I would look at her and think, "But you are the one who is spoiling me by giving all these."

I won't point fingers towards my parent's generation for showering us with commodities which they never had; no I won't blame them for trying to give us the best. I guess we somehow lost the message between their giving and our taking, we got used to better lives without really thinking where that life would take us… layers of make-up, expensive one time wears, and then credit card debts?

I don't want to make any statement; I guess not everything is about forming some hypothesis and proving a point, sometimes minute observations and day to day worries make it to the paper, like right now… a few lost words about forever lost bucks.


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