|Home | Issues | The Daily Star Home | Volume 4, Issue 2, Tuesday January 16, 2007|
Chronicles of Sam Q
No offence, but Sister Perpetua does come to mind. See! Because she did that, we fellow Holy Crossians have turned out be such gems of humanity. Maybe we lack modesty but we never said we were perfect. Did we girls?
Anyway going back to my ramblings, I have to share my incredible experiences from this festive and social season. And to all you social animals please do not get judgmental about people who get reclusive and hermit-like, because dealing with situations like I did, I wouldn't blame them.
Situation number 1: Wedding. Lots of unknown faces, inquisitive stares (which I take very personally), and then one very inquisitive person, coming up to me and asking why I only write about food instead of doing something about my "full" figure. Apparently, this particular thing that I do (writing), is always going to make me hungry. Hello! Earth calling inquisitive person! I was so taken aback at her sheer effrontery, that all I wanted to say was," Get a translator, sister! You are not getting my column.”
Situation number 2: Another wedding. Tasteless biriyani and so much 'bling' that I felt I was going blind. So I was waiting for my chauffeur to glide in and whisk me off home, and dreaming of slipping into my Kaftan as soon as I reach home. But I couldn't even fantasise in peace. Someone wants to borrow my cell to call her chauffeur. Being the Good Samaritan I handed over my cell, dying to ask, why her chauffeur has a cell and not her! To make matters worse, she talks on my cell for a good ten minutes before giving it back to me without a word of thanks. Even my impatient foot tapping, deep sighs and blazing glares did not deter her from talking. I think that it was probably not her chauffeur she was talking to.
Situation number 3: Yes! Yes! Another wedding! At least this was done in the confines of my drawing room. You know diary, how nowadays, lots of people have "blessings only" printed on their cards. So, as I was being invited to such a wedding, and I commented, "Oh, blessings only?" I do not know what my tone implied, because promptly the person inviting me told me that only blessings that come in envelopes would be accepted! I really don't know what I did after her comment, as I only remember a white fog-like thing descending on me.
So diary don't you think it is enough to discombobulate even the most veteran wedding attendance after facing such traumas. Even after careful perusal one cannot come out unscathed.
So my advice to all the apprehensive, socially inept people out there would be to try to grow a thick skin, if not invisible armour. Choose the functions you have to go to, make a timely entrance and make an even quicker getaway, and if you do have to meet and greet such people, remember the white fog and you are home free.
So lastly to all the fed-up with biriyani people (heh! heh! pun intended!) a recipe which you can try with only four ingredients and chicken.
So, have a good day the Sam Q way.
Pets are lovable the way they are. Nonetheless, they can be a cause of great concern. Here's how to handle pet concerns like a pro…
1. Consult your veterinarian if you have a high-strung animal. Some experts suggest that some pets might benefit from certain medications including anti-anxiety drugs or tranquilisers.
2. Keep pets away from the tree. Animals can get hurt chewing on wires and lights. Use common sense and perseverance to train your animals.
3. When Fluffy heads for the trunk to use as a scratching post, squirt her with a water pistol. If you have an electric train set, some experts recommend running it around the tree to warn off your animals.
4. Don't place the tree in your pet's favourite spot. To keep curious critters from toppling the tree, tie it to a ceiling hook. And don't tempt pets with food on or under the branches.
5. The easiest way to keep your pet from the tree is to restrict its access. Close the door to the room, allowing pets in only when they are supervised. Be aware that stockings and tinsel often look like new toys to pets.
6. Chocolate may cause heart irregularities and even death.
7. Mistletoe is highly toxic, especially the berries.
8 Poinsettias are NOT poisonous, but may cause diarrhoea and cramps.
9. Pinecones and ornaments can create serious gastrointestinal blockages.
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