Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home | Volume 5, Issue 1, Tuesday January 1, 2008

 

 

As the stars unfold their charms, a boy cups his hands in prayers wishing for the perfect woman. The mid-winter breeze takes it from the bottom of his heart, cradles it, rocks it, and carries it out, out and out across the valley. There, sits a girl with her head bent, hands cupped- just like the boy's- asking God for the perfect man. Somehow the wind, against the odds of rustling newspapers and discarded milk cartons, weaves its magic and binds their prayers together… and they fly, fly and fly.

In a simple tribute to our longing, our desire, our aspirations, Star Lifestyle is bringing all these prayers together to show you what he said and what she said…

He said a lot of things actually. He said he wanted locks of shiny black ringlets that bounce when she shakes her head in friendly disapproval; he said he wanted eyes that would look like a bowl of cool water- undisturbed, unadulterated- that reflects the night sky; he said he wanted a smile that would chisel out a dimple on her cheeks; he said he wanted the smell of smoke and honey on the curve of her neck when she throws her head back to laugh her schoolgirl laugh. Give him that and he would build a temple for her out of ice that never melts and wild saffron roses that never wilt; give him that and he would put his heart in a sandalwood box and offer it for her keep. He said a lot of things…

That is not surprising. As a mandate of the human nature, we tend to seek out the “perfect woman”. The woman who can do no wrong, who with her aura of mysticism and almost-painful beauty can fill a man's heart with love. There are so many dimensions to a woman, it is said that she is like a map to the unexplored. Yet all of it- the longing, the wistfulness, the aspiration- boils down to a single question: what is a “perfect woman”?

The orthodoxy is that a man is a shallow creature in an eternal quest to find beautiful women. However, if that was the case, a woman would be no different from a souvenir. And, indeed, not a map to uncharted grounds. Of course, a woman to an extent is defined by her beauty and grace, as much as a man is defined by his build and strength. But beauty is skin deep, and to get to the blood and the life flow of it all, there is something more.

The term “perfect woman”- even to the most promiscuous of men- is often interchangeably usable with soul mates. Someone who you can be with for years, and even a lifetime, at a stretch without getting tired of it. Contrary to popular belief, it does not take love to get there; it takes an indestructible bond of friendship. A woman needs to be a man's friend, his comrade. She needs to communicate her feelings with the man, as much as he needs to communicate with her. Open communication paves the way for trust and mutual respect, in the knowledge that she has nothing to hide and neither does he.

On a lighter note, she must possess a wicked sense of humour- a woman who can make you laugh is a woman worth the keep. In fact, there are very few men who would love to have a dried up prune as their woman. She would also love travel and adventure, and when- but only when- time demands it love living on the edge and taking risks. Travelling and globe-trotting is an experience, and any ordinary man would love to share that experience with their special someone.

Equally, a women needs to know not to encroach on the man's personal space. Most women make the mistake of being too inquisitive. If the man does not want to talk about something, don't badger him with lines like: “you don't love me anymore”. Give him the time, and when the time is right he will speak up.

Moreover, a woman who knows how to whip up a hearty meal is an added value. They say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach… and they are right. Words of wisdom.

Coming to think of it, he did say an awful lot of things… but if the price is his heart in a sandalwood box and a temple carved out of ice and flowers, it is definitely worth a try.

By Shahmuddin Ahmed Siddiky

 

 

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