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Musing

Soul mates

Unless you are a hermit you probably have myriad family members; if not, then a few friends, neighbours, colleagues and so many other people in your life. Despite having so many people in our lives why do we all, minus a few odd ones, yearn for a person who is the exact replica of our imaginations of the perfect person, whom we can spend the rest of our lives with, who shares exactly the same opinions and emotions about everything as we do and understands us perfectly -- in other words a soul mate? The answer is simple, because if we ended up with someone less than that, we think we would be compromising for the rest of our lives.

However, what is exactly the point of putting so much pressure on just one person? A person may be your partner, they may walk the way you wanted, may talk the way you dreamt, but, they may not necessarily share the same opinions or understand you without the need of you speaking it out loud. Over the years the use of the word soul mate has been restricted to mean a perfect partner. But, is that what it really means? A soul mate is somebody who you can spill out any and all types of beans to without feeling awkward. This person does not judge you, does not reprimand you for your errors but, embraces you for who you are.

For most people the idea of a soul mate remains a fantasy because they are looking in the wrong place. They might think that they never found their soul mate, unaware of the fact that they actually have one in their lives. Soul mates in your life can be in the disguise of your parents, siblings, friends or anybody who is close to you.

Friends are usually the top contenders for the spot of a soul mate. Most people have at least one friend in their lives who are familiar to every tiny thought of theirs. Often those who do not have as comfortable a relationship with their siblings come across a friend who has their backs in thick and thin all throughout life. And, those who do not have siblings are at times quite lucky, like me, to find that one friend who has to put up with their tantrums, wipe their tears for years, wake up to phone calls at 5 am and hold their hands while crossing the road.

At younger ages parents may seem to be quite intimidating characters in most people's stories. However, after a certain age this changes for a lot of people. Many people have an exceptional bond with their parents where they can discuss anything and everything with their parents, something that I saw in my father and grandfather's relationship. And, what better person to find a soul mate in than your parents because, after all they are the people who love you the most in your life. Not to forget the siblings, twins especially do not even have to wait for their soul mates. They are usually just born with one.

Most people do not realise the presence of their soul mates, end up not giving credit to those who actually are and waste their time trying to find one. This is not something that can be found on searching. The realisation may just come along any ordinary day when you least expect it.

By Karishma Ameen


Special Feature

False reality

A few days back while window shopping at Bashundhara City shopping mall, a stall of a very popular cosmetic brand, where they were conducting free skin analysis, caught my eyes. Curious, I entered and got a free skin test myself. They then handed me a brochure recommending me to use one or two of their products for flawless skin. While leaving the shop I wondered how many women who came here would actually be influenced to buy this product in pursuit of a prettier visage.

Come to think of it, there will be many because there are yet greater extents to which people go so that they may rise in the hierarchy of beauty. Compared to that, using a few cosmetics is just a tiny amount of physical and monetary effort.

Not that there is a definite scale or equation for beauty; yet people manage to label people as beautiful, ugly or many other combinations within this spectrum. And, those who do not consider themselves to be near the beautiful end of the spectrum try to reach it in all ways that are feasible for them.

Even a decade or two ago, the only ways women tried to achieve prettiness was through putting on rouge, lipstick, eye shadow and mascara, while men with receding hair lines opted for wigs. Despite all this there was always a nagging somewhere in the deep corners of the minds of these people that all this is not real. Thus, science came to the rescue of these troubled souls and offered them a way out. Science offered them the option to change the way they look.

Rather than people who are in actual need of surgery to better a deformation, due to an accident or some other reason, people who do not seem to think themselves to be near the top of the imaginary beauty hierarchy seem to visit cosmetic surgeons. Most of these people are pleasant to look at, yet they insist that there is a lack in some part of their body and they definitely need some work done on them. Take actresses as an example. They are actresses in the first place because they are good to look at! Then why do they have to go get that pronounced pout or that sharper nose? If you are bald or if you have a completely crooked nose you justify opting for surgery but, if you are an actress and you are said to be one of the prettiest women in the world then why would you need to augment your lips? How many extra points has it added to your prettiness scale? And, not to forget how surgery can also help you to stay evergreen by ridding you of wrinkles and blemishes.

According to Dr. Minu, cosmetic surgery is chosen by a huge number of people, from almost as young as 18 to 55 years of age. Lip augmentation, nose jobs, tummy tucks by liposuctions are the procedures that are commonly chosen. However, hip augmentation is quite popular here as well because, bigger hips look better in saris, one of the most favourite outfits of Bangladeshi women. Hair transplant is one of the most popular cosmetic surgery procedures in our country with majority being males starting from 21 to 60 years of age. The female population also opts for hair transplants but usually for making the hair thick. Eyebrow lifts and facelifts are two other common procedures. While cosmetic surgery is gaining popularity in Bangladesh, a new method of enhancement is getting popular in the Western world.

With life taking on a faster pace everyday in the 21st century people seem to have lesser and lesser amount of disposable time. Thus, to make life easier people have come up with a time-saving replacement for putting on make-up every day, permanent make-up. It is a one-time effort; eye liner, lipstick and rouge are tattooed on and you are all made-up for every hour for the rest of your life. Must make life so much easier for all those men who previously had to wait for hours for their ladies to get dressed!

The emphasis on external perfection nowadays is such that it has the ability to victimise anyone and everyone, media being the main proponent of this. While fake nails and eyelashes are harmless and just a passing fad, other methods are not always necessarily so. There have been many women who, in the hunt for utmost perfection, have gone countless times to the operating theatre despite being advised otherwise by their surgeons, only to end up with a distorted appearance. But, where does this “beauty scale” end? Obviously one should always try to keep oneself well groomed by dressing well, having a nice haircut and when necessary using make-up as required but, how do people understand where to draw the line?

Younger girls, who are very impressionable, are increasingly becoming more conscious and seem to find faults with their looks even if they look just fine. When we place so much importance on looks we give out the wrong message that looks come first, then talent and the rest. Humankind seems to have developed distaste for Mother Nature. Just like we are damaging Mother Nature with our urban lifestyles, we are also creating the mindset to encourage rubbing off her works in this context as well.

By Karishma Ameen


By the way

Camouflage your biggest facial flaws

Just like with a bad hair day, if you're too worried about every imperfection on display, you'll be too distracted to get anything done.

If your skin is blotchy in general, tackle that first, using mineral makeup for a sheer natural finish. Likewise, if your skin is reasonably clear, but a little too pasty for your comfort, a bit of pink or peachy blush (whichever flatters your skin tone) will make you glow.

If your skin is nice save for a few discolourations, spot-treat those areas using a stippling technique and leave the rest alone; this is another good reason to make sure your foundation matches your skin tone.

If zits or eye circles are your albatross, attack them with concealer, and set with a bit of powder.

Remember, this isn't the time to obsess over every flaw; just remedy the biggest one or two and move on to the next step.

-- LS Desk


FYI

Tommy Miah starts
save the tiger campaign

Edinburgh restaurateur Tommy Miah is helping save the endangered Bengal Tiger by seeking international assistance for protection of the Sundarban -- the natural habitat of the species -- straddling the India-Bangladesh border.

The campaign kicks off on Monday, March 21, at a House of Commons reception hosted by Anne Main MP, chair of the all-party British-Bangladeshi Parliamentary Group.

Miss India will be one of the celebrity guests in the Jubilee Room campaigning for the world's largest Mangrove forest area nominated for being selected as one of the New Seven Wonders of Nature.

One-third of the Sundarban is part of India with the greater part in Bangladesh. Basic protection measures are already enforced by both governments but Tommy Miah hopes to stress on the urgent need for international recognition.

Voting facilities for the New Seven Wonders of Nature will be available at the reception, which starts at 3.30 pm on Monday.

The swampy Sundarban, stretching inland along a 200-mile north-western stretch of the Bay of Bengal is not only a refuge for diminishing numbers of the Royal Bengal Tiger but home to an unrivalled multitude of rare varieties of animals, birds, marine and botanic species,

The many rivers and streams criss-crossing the area between the mouths of the Ganges in the south and Brahmaputra to the north teem with fish that provide a livelihood for thousands of fishermen.

-- LS Desk

   
 

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