Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home   |  Volume 7, Issue 05, Tuesday, January 31, 2012




Child sharing after divorce

"Divorce is the last resort" they say. And it should be. To the wife and the husband concerned, this may be the only way out but for the children of the broken family it is a stigma they bear for life.

Legal procedure for child sharing
According to the Senior Staff Lawyer of Mediation Unit of Ain o Salish Kendra (ASK), in case of a divorce, the mother becomes the custodian of the son till the age of seven and for the daughter until she attains puberty; the mother is regarded as the best caregiver for a child and based on this assumption the custody laws have been drafted. The total responsibility of the children's maintenance and upkeep, however, goes to the father.

The father has full rights to communicate with his children and can seek permission from the court to take his children to stay with him for some time. There is no legal bar in this regard.

After the children exceed the legal age, the father can seek permission for complete custody of the wards. The court, after examining all aspects of the situation -- psychological, physical and economic -- gives the final decision about the permanent custodianship of the children.

Child sharing in Bangladesh
Deputy Director of Mediation and Immediate Response Unit of ASK and lawyer, Nina Goswami said that child sharing after divorce is not at all a pleasant experience in Bangladesh in the social and legal contexts. She believes that a sense of competition drives both parents as far as custodianship of the child is concerned. Both parents tend to shun the presence of the other in the lives of the children and engage in a battle where the child's best interest is sacrificed. Most parents believe that even the shadow of the father, or the mother, on the child will be detrimental for the ward.

The financial upkeep of the child reveals a different set of problems. Although the father holds complete responsibility according to law, in reality the father's side always considers the amount fixed beyond reason, while the mother's side, most of the time, claims it is too less.

At times, fathers can also be more interested to bear the maintenance cost of the son as they hope to recoup the amount exhausted when the son attains maturity. It is a common practice that female children are not being cared for as they consider it a social liability.

Children's mental state
Lawyer Selina Akhter, who has been working with the mediation unit of ASK for a long time, said that the minor children have to go through much psychological and social ordeal before the divorce is finalised. Children feel shy to repeatedly go to organisations like the ASK or attend the sessions at court.

They believe that both parents must come to amicable terms considering child custodianship and visit timing, giving due consideration to the child's schooling and other social needs.

Psychological impact on the children
"If a boy loses his father at an early age, he is confused about the role and responsibility as an adult man and also in taking care of a family as a father. A vacant feeling prevails in the mind of the boy as he is not associated with a father's love and affection.

"The same situation is true for the girl. If support from the single parent is not proper and positive, it is common that the child suffers from psychological problems like depression, frustration, emotional disorder, and indiscipline. Substance abuse is also high among boys coming from a broken family," said Kamal UA Chowdhury, Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology Department of Dhaka University.

However, opting for a divorce may indeed seem to be the reasonable option in many cases.

"If parents are in an abusive relationship and do not go for divorce, nurturing a conflicting relation between them," Kamal UA Chowdhury said, "Their children grow up with different sets of mental problems."

They may grow up with repressed anger as often the child becomes the innocent victim of the parent's wrath. As a result they repress that anger helplessly. The outburst occurs at their adolescent period. They misbehave with their parents, spend more time outside of home or may become depressed.

By Mahtabi Zaman


Odours that stick

Cat urine: mix water, white vinegar, baking soda and hydrogen peroxide together and use the mixture to clean out the cat urine from carpet and upholstery.

Cigarette smell from car seat: Fill a tub with vinegar and place it on the floor in the front seat. Then close the windows, open the floor vents and turn on the heat with full blast. Keep the car running this way for an hours and then remove the tub get it back at its pristine, odourless condition.

Shoe odour: so there's only one way to get it done, keeping your shoes and socks dry. Dry your feet well after showers, use anti-perspirant if your feet sweats a lot, wear thick cotton socks and change them regularly.


Dream wedding at an unbeatable price

A wedding is that beautiful moment in your life when love is the reason for a new journey. It does not only take place between the couple, but is also the start of new relationships between two families.

To celebrate it in a grand way one always has to make the most important and difficult decisions such as choosing the perfect venue, the flowers, and the right set of menu for the wedding day.

Platinum Suites Hotel introduces their Wedding Package @850 BDT (all inclusive). Our ZiZi Banquet Hall can accommodate up to 120 people. Our package includes food and drink, floral decorations, golden fire fly lighting.

For further information visit www.platinumsuites.com.bd or contact them at 01975284686, 8831409.

Amazing offer at Dressy Dale

Dressy Dale is offering discounts on various products beginning 31 January, 2012.

The offer is valid for a limited time only and is available at all Dressy Dale outlets.

Life is beautiful

Agnimitra Paul, the celebrated Indian designer will showcase her designs through a gala fashion show, "Gallery Apex Life is beautiful" at Hotel Radisson on 3 February, 2012.

The designer dresses will later be auctioned and the entire proceedings donated to the charity fund of the daily Prothom Alo, supporting acid survivors.

The fashion show will start at 7:45pm and will be followed by a lively show by popular singers Rupongkor and Pintu Ghosh.

The show will be telecast live on Desh TV.

Infinity opens Pathshala

To pay homage to the language martyrs, fashion house Infinity has opened a books corner at the Uttara Outlet called "Pathshala".

This section of the store will shelve popular titles from writers, home and abroad, and will also feature magazines, recipe books and a lot more.

Be sure to check this new venture from Infinity.


Know them before you bake

If you're one of those newly turned bakers, your new fascination might need you to know a bit more than you think. So here are some tit bits your way.

When making a pie, sprinkle the sugar under the fruit instead of on top. This prevents the pie from boiling over.

For one layer cakes, turn the cake upside down before icing so that the top is perfectly flat and even. When icing two cake rounds or squares, place a layer of frosting on the top of one round, then place the other round upside down on top for a perfectly flat top. If the cake rose high and uneven in the middle when baking, you may need to slice a bit off across the top to lay it flat.


We request all our event invitations, press releases and other forms of correspondence be sent to Raffat Binte Rashid, Editor, Star Lifestyle (7th Floor), 64-65 Kazi Nazrul Islam Avenue, Dhaka 1215. Email: lifestyleds@yahoo.com or raffat@thedailystar.net


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