Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home   |    Volume 7, Issue 19, Tuesday, May 08, 2012



truly blind love

“Oh!” she said as her hand flew to her protruding stomach on feeling a kick. “Seems like the baby knows you are here for him or her.”
Doria Hossain is a first-time expecting mother waiting out the last four months before she embarks on the lifelong journey of 'love and worrying' as she puts it herself. Sitting in a room, aptly decorated with posters of babies all around, Doria talks about her pregnancy and her impending motherhood.

Doria describes this as perhaps the most overwhelming time of her life. “I have gained new respect for my body,” she says, “to think that this body, which I have had all my life, which I have ill-treated so many times is so precious as to make and protect another person, another human being is mind boggling to say the least.” She continued to smile and glow, seeming to enjoy a secret source of warmth and glory, “My husband says I am better than any scientist in the world -- after all I beat them all in making a human being!”


After a difficult first three months of pregnancy, Doria has had a smooth ride till date. She says that being pregnant is still a full-time occupation for her and she sees this time as the 'study break' before the big examination of 'labour'.

She calls it a study break because she is soaking up all the knowledge she can acquire to prepare herself for motherhood. “I am always on the net visiting yet another forum or blog on pregnancy and child rearing. I see the advice I obtain from my elders as just the basics, living and eating healthy and so on, but then I have so many more questions. How should I introduce the baby to the realities of the world? How do I ensure that he or she grows up to be a good human being? The Internet helps to assuage such worries by merely telling me that I am not over-reacting.”

In another house, another family, another young person is also making way into this world. Anika Ansara is not new to this feeling of 'making life'. Already a mother to two-year-old Sunaina, Anika is filled with questions and concerns quite different from the first-time expecting mother. “I am worrying a lot in this pregnancy and I know that's bad for the child and that in turn makes me worry more!” Anika talks about her fear of not living in a healthy enough environment. She remembers how Sunaina suffered from weak immunity as an infant and she fears the same for the next child and is determined to do something different this time.

“My husband brings me flowers each day so that I am surrounded by pretty things and good thoughts. With Sunaina, the flowers and my husband around I am being surrounded by all things beautiful,” Anika says with a small smile.

“He also gave me biographies of famous people to read since what you think during pregnancy affects your child as well and we want me to think grand. My friends and family keep saying that we must be hoping for a son this time around but in all sincerity I cannot seem to go beyond hoping and praying for a healthy and fit child, whatever the gender.”

Doria and her husband are secretly rooting for a daughter so that Doria can 'dress her up' and her husband can 'have a daddy's girl to spoil'. Although she says that she is still too much in awe of being pregnant to fathom the immensity of the responsibility to be placed upon her in a few months, Doria has not been able to sidestep the worrying altogether. “The only thing I am afraid of is how to give the baby the proper morals to guide him or her for a lifetime. Apparently the first four years of rearing determines the majority of a child's thinking pattern and the idea of being responsible for moulding another person's thinking pattern is daunting.”

On the subject of what kind of a mother they think they would be like, both women seem to want to be more of a friend. “Being strict is not in my nature,” Doria says, “But I do understand I will need to be sometimes. I just hope I do not become the villain in her life.”

Anika, on the other, hand dreams more of being a friendly overseer to the friendship of her two children: “More than my own relationship with the children individually, I want the two of them to be the best of friends.”

Pregnancy has made them both better individuals. Thinking and acting selflessly for the betterment of another person is the first step towards motherhood and that begins with pregnancy. Every mother wants the best for her child and the best can only be delivered by being the best yourselves. A mother alters her own persona the moment life stirs within her and truly gives the quote below validity.

“Love is indeed blind. Your mother loved you from before she saw you.”

By Raisaa Tashnova
Photo: Sazzad Ibne Sayed
Model: Mala Khurrum, Farheen Khurrum, Sarawee Farhad, and Zaraif Farhad.
Special thanks to Mala Khurrum


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