all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as
a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.
But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it
can lead to problems at work, in your personal relationships,
and in the overall quality of your life. It can make you
feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and
powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand
and control anger.
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional
feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes.
You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people
that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn
to control your reactions.
You Too Angry?
There are psychological tests that measure the intensity
of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well
you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have
a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself
acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening,
you might need help finding better ways to deal with this
Are Some People More Angry Than Others?
According to psychologists some people are more "hot-headed"
than others; they get angry more easily and more intensely
than the average person does. There are also those who don't
show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically
irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always
curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially,
sulk, or get physically ill.
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists
call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that
they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration,
inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride,
and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems
somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor
What makes these people this way? A number of things. One
cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence
that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily
angered, and that these signs are present from a very early
age. Another may be socio-cultural. Anger is often regarded
as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express
anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express
anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel
Research has also found that family background plays a role.
Typically, people who are easily angered come from families
that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional
It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"
Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some
people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research
has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually
escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help
you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.
It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger,
and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from
tipping you over the edge.
To Keep Anger At Bay
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing
imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books
and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques. Once
you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any
situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both
partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both
of you to learn these techniques.
simple steps you can try:
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your
chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from
Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax,"
"take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing
Use imagery; visualise a relaxing experience, from either
your memory or your imagination.
Non-strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles
and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically
when you're in a tense situation.