<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 113 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

July 11, 2003

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Dear Mita
Right after my HSC exams, a friend of mine proposed to me and expressed her deep love for me. For reasons of my own, I could not give her a positive response. I promised her that we would remain friends. I left to study abroad in 1998 and we kept in touch over email. When I returned to Dhaka in 2003, she had already gotten married to someone else. I also am making plans to get married. However, a few days ago, she called me and said that she still loves me, and was willing to make any sacrifice necessary to be with me. I tried to dissuade her by reminding her of her responsibilities to her family and her husband. She replied by telling me that she has loved me for five years and she was willing to just have my love for one day. If I refused her then it would be humiliating, degrading and very painful for her. She is asking me give her my love just for a day. I have to say that I am tempted and her proposition sounds very logical to me. I am kind of motivated to go through with this. What should I do?
--Motivated and Confused

Dear Confused,
You have not said how you feel about her. If you are planning to get married to a particular girl then you must also remember your commitment towards her. Will it be wise to do something, which you might have to hide from your future wife? As for her, I think that she is being childish and immature. There is no guarantee that she will stop with just one day of your love. This might end up being more than you have bargained for. Please think carefully about all the consequences before you decide anything.


Dear Mita,
I'm 19 and love this girl called F who I met through my cousin. But I made the mistake of mailing and playing pranks on F's friend whose address I also got from my cousin. I told my cousin I liked F and even gave her gifts through her. But now the other girl has told F about the pranks I played on her and now she doesn't accept my gifts and she has never replied to my mails. But I really love her. I never even got a chance to talk to her properly, she doesn't even know me well. What should I do?

Dear A,
I guess you will have to pay some price for playing silly pranks. I hope they were not too serious and that you will be forgiven. You may try to talk to F and convince her that you meant no harm. However, remember it is her call to forgive you or not. If she does not then you will have to accept the consequences. However, if you are sincere then you might be able to, in some way, communicate to her that for the moment you just want to be her friend. I do not think she will be ready for any serious relationship right away.


Dear Mita,
I have just passed my HSC exams and am taking coaching for IELTS. Whenever I enter my class, everyone looks at me and then turns away because I'm not good-looking. I don't know why people give so much importance to looks. We don't have any control over how we look. It's not my fault I'm bad-looking. I feel very uncomfortable in class. What should I do?

Dear T,
This world is full of silly, uncaring people and your class friends fall in that category. You can show them with your intelligence and achievements that looks are certainly not the most important thing in life. I agree that people give too much importance to looks over which we have no control. You must build up your confidence by excelling in whatever you do. This has nothing to do with how you look. I can bet soon they will seek you out to help them.


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