<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 116 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

August 01, 2003

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Dear Mita,
Since my boyfriend (25), was Christian and half English, he wasn't accepted in my traditional family and so we split up because my parents pressured me to. I (21), promised my family that I would never see or talk to him again and I assured them that he's not in my life anymore. But we love each other a lot and it's difficult for me to move on without him. I chat with him online and we talk on the phone sometimes though we never meet. I am determined not to hurt my family by having a relationship with him again but sometimes I can't help wanting to talk to him. But I feel low and guilty as I'm cheating my parents. What should I do?

Dear iSoLdE (what does this mean?),
You are being very mature and sensible in trying to listen to your parents. However, if your heart is so set on this person then you will have to think seriously about talking to your parents. You are an adult now and although it is very important to be sensitive to the wishes of your parents, at some point in your life you will have to take decisions. Perhaps you should meet other young men and see how they compare with your friend.

Dear Mita,
I'm suffering from schizophrenia and am struggling to get cured. I live with my grandmother as my parents live abroad. I was in love with a non-Bangladeshi, Christian guy for three years who lived in the US. He was suffering from blood cancer. I last received an e-mail from him in May and haven't heard from him since. I think he has passed away but I can't accept it. What should I do? I don't know his address or anything. I believed my love was true. Can it fail?

Dear T,
Your love has not failed if someone has passed away. Try to contact him again through e-mail or through a common friend and find out the present situation. You are a brave person to be facing so many odds. I am sure that you will get cured someday and find the right person as your life partner.

Dear Mita,
I'm 18 and not yet stable enough to choose a steady romantic partner. But I've fallen in love with this guy. I don't know whether it's an obsession or an infatuation. My friends discourage me simply because he's not good-looking. He's not ugly, but shorter than I am and not a good student. But it's the soul behind the face that counts,isn't it? He doesn't have any of the things I like but I love him for what he is. Yet everyone who hears about us is against it. I don't know whether I'm making a mistake. Please help.

Dear AI,
You are only 18 and there is plenty of time to select a steady romantic partner. You are mature to realise that looks do not matter and it is the person behind the face which has attracted you. However, you should also seriously think about why you like him. You should also help him to become a better student which will help him to gain more confidence and earn the respect of others. It is hard to tell if this is real or just an infatuation. For the present, just take time to understand him better and not get too involved.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 2nd Year pharmacy student of DU and an ardent admirer of your writing. I'm very weak in English. I try reading the newspaper but I have a lot of trouble with the words and sentence patterns and need to look up the dictionary in almost every sentence. This frustrates me and I lose my patience. I don't know what the proper way is to learn English. Please help.

Dear Z,
Where there is a will there is a way. It is not easy to learn English and reach a high level of proficiency but you can certainly learn to read, write and speak English reasonably well if you try hard. There are many teaching aids, both audio and visual; you can watch movies and read a lot. You must also try to speak even if you make mistakes.


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