boy goes to the hospital with his grandmother to visit his
When they arrive there he runs ahead of his granny and bursts
into his grandpa's room.
"Grandpa, as soon as Grandma comes into the room, make
a noise like a frog," he shouted.
"What for?" asked his grandpa.
"Grandma said that as soon as you croaked, we're going
two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane
had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced
a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.
She finally realised that she had dominated the entire conversation
on her grandchildren.
"Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I
know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me...
what do you think of my grandchildren?"
Evolution of Mom
Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also
changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a
second and third child differs from having your first:
Your Clothes -
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as
your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name -
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practise pronouncing
and writing combinations of all your favourites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt
Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see
where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!
for the Birth -
1st baby: You practise your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practising because you remember
that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate
them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean
and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown
- you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to
wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby
Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the
Going Out -
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember
to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call
only if she sees blood.
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing
at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure
your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from