I'm a rather lonely 24-year-old guy. Because of a family
matter which took place a long time ago, I have drifted
away from my family members. Though I pretend to be caring
about them, deep down, I am absolutely indifferent towards
them. Moreover, I consider my elder brother to be the most
selfish guy on Earth since he left for the USA leaving my
family and myself without any support here. I have never
had a long-term affair with any girl and was instead dumped
twice, probably because of my looks. I'm working in a very
reputed company and earn enough to maintain a decent life.
The problem is that over the years, I have grown this habit
of not relying on any of my family members or on women.
I even rely on total strangers at times but not women or
my family. I think women are only interested in fat wallets
and handsome hunks while family members only care about
me as long as I maintain the social status and prestige
(in terms of education and work) that they maintain. I know
this might seem absurd but I constantly think like this.
I hate the life I'm leading, so please advise me how to
-- Utterly disgruntled
You are well aware of your problems and surely understand
that the problems are related to attitude. You have a preconceived
notion about things and want to live your life based on
it. I have to tell you that unless you change your attitude
you will not be able to overcome your problems. Please think
rationally, if women were only interested in “fat wallets
and handsome hunks” then there would not be millions of
very happy, ordinary looking couples in our society. Coming
to family, please remember, if you are ever in need, 9 times
out of 10, it is your family which will come to your help.
Regarding your brother, let him deal with his own problems
and not include it in your list of frustrations. Getting
rejected should not be seen as such a big issue. This is
a part of growing up and might happen again till you finally
find your soul mate.
I'm just over 17 and studying in Intermediate second year.
About three years ago, I met an innocent, religious girl
at my chemistry tutor's house. She wore a veil with everything
but her eyes covered. Her eyes were beautiful. I began to
like her and this slowly turned to love. Now we're in the
same college and class. I've heard that she knows that I
like her but she isn't interested in having a relationship.
She believes that people who have affairs don't have personalities.
I feel for her very deeply and want to propose to her but
there is also a big difference between her social status
and mine (hers is higher). I know these things shouldn't
matter in such things but I'm not sure as to what to do.
Should I propose to her or should I give it up?
I do not understand why you will propose to her even if
she is not interested in you. You are only 17 and will have
plenty of time to propose in future. It is better that you
do not waste your time here and have healthy relationships
with different groups of young men and women.
I'm 23 years old and love a girl who doesn't know that I
love her. She is in Class 8 and her parents are trying to
marry her off. I work at a three-star hotel and don't get
paid very much and don't think this is the right time for
me to pursue a relationship or marriage. What should I do?
If you have ever read my column, you will know that I totally
discourage relationships between adults and mere teenagers.
This girl of class 8 is not ready for a serious relationship,
leave alone marriage. If her parents are trying to marry
her off, it is wrong, but nonetheless, this is their business.
My advice to you is to leave this girl alone and find someone
closer to your age.