<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 119 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

August 22, 2003

<%-- Navigation Bar--%>
<%-- Navigation Bar--%>
<%-- 5% Text Table--%>

Dear Mita,
I'm a rather lonely 24-year-old guy. Because of a family matter which took place a long time ago, I have drifted away from my family members. Though I pretend to be caring about them, deep down, I am absolutely indifferent towards them. Moreover, I consider my elder brother to be the most selfish guy on Earth since he left for the USA leaving my family and myself without any support here. I have never had a long-term affair with any girl and was instead dumped twice, probably because of my looks. I'm working in a very reputed company and earn enough to maintain a decent life. The problem is that over the years, I have grown this habit of not relying on any of my family members or on women. I even rely on total strangers at times but not women or my family. I think women are only interested in fat wallets and handsome hunks while family members only care about me as long as I maintain the social status and prestige (in terms of education and work) that they maintain. I know this might seem absurd but I constantly think like this. I hate the life I'm leading, so please advise me how to overcome this.
-- Utterly disgruntled

Dear Disgruntled,
You are well aware of your problems and surely understand that the problems are related to attitude. You have a preconceived notion about things and want to live your life based on it. I have to tell you that unless you change your attitude you will not be able to overcome your problems. Please think rationally, if women were only interested in “fat wallets and handsome hunks” then there would not be millions of very happy, ordinary looking couples in our society. Coming to family, please remember, if you are ever in need, 9 times out of 10, it is your family which will come to your help. Regarding your brother, let him deal with his own problems and not include it in your list of frustrations. Getting rejected should not be seen as such a big issue. This is a part of growing up and might happen again till you finally find your soul mate.

Dear Mita,
I'm just over 17 and studying in Intermediate second year. About three years ago, I met an innocent, religious girl at my chemistry tutor's house. She wore a veil with everything but her eyes covered. Her eyes were beautiful. I began to like her and this slowly turned to love. Now we're in the same college and class. I've heard that she knows that I like her but she isn't interested in having a relationship. She believes that people who have affairs don't have personalities. I feel for her very deeply and want to propose to her but there is also a big difference between her social status and mine (hers is higher). I know these things shouldn't matter in such things but I'm not sure as to what to do. Should I propose to her or should I give it up?

Dear KAH,
I do not understand why you will propose to her even if she is not interested in you. You are only 17 and will have plenty of time to propose in future. It is better that you do not waste your time here and have healthy relationships with different groups of young men and women.

Dear Mita,
I'm 23 years old and love a girl who doesn't know that I love her. She is in Class 8 and her parents are trying to marry her off. I work at a three-star hotel and don't get paid very much and don't think this is the right time for me to pursue a relationship or marriage. What should I do?

Dear I,
If you have ever read my column, you will know that I totally discourage relationships between adults and mere teenagers. This girl of class 8 is not ready for a serious relationship, leave alone marriage. If her parents are trying to marry her off, it is wrong, but nonetheless, this is their business. My advice to you is to leave this girl alone and find someone closer to your age.


(C) Copyright The Daily Star. The Daily Star Internet Edition, is published by The Daily Star