The other car collided with mine without giving warning
of its intention.
The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my
car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner,
when it was struck by the other car in the same place it
had been struck several times before.
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with
a tree I don't have.
The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in
a small car with a big mouth.
As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared
in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.
I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting
to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle
I thought my window was down but found it was up when I
put my hand through it.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran
I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced
off the hood of my car.
journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse,
"I want to see the eye-ear doctor."
"There is no such doctor," she tells him. "Perhaps
you would like to see someone else?"
"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.
"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We
have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose
and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."
No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the
nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but
if there were one, why would you want to see him?"
"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one
thing and seeing another."
film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an
old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow
rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian
went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm."
The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director.
He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the
weather. However, after several successful predictions,
the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the
director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene
tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending
on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know,"
he said. "Radio is broken."
Three guys are fishing
in the Caribbean. One guy says, "I had a terrible fire;
lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for
everything and that's why I'm here."
The second guy says, "I had a terrible explosion; lost
everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything
and that's why I'm here."
The third guy says, "What a coincidence. I had a terrible
flood; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying
for everything and that's why I'm here."
The other guys turned to him with confusion and asked, "Flood?
How do you start a flood?”