quite Bull's Eye!
elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store
(meat is severely rationed). When the butcher comes out
at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat
left, the man flies into a rage.
"What is this?" he shouts. "I fought against
the Nazis, I worked hard all my life, I've been a loyal
citizen, and now you tell me I can't even buy a piece of
meat? This rotten system stinks!"
a thuggish man in a black leather coat sidles up and murmurs,
"Take it easy, Comrade. Remember what would have happened
if you had made an outburst like that only a few years ago,"
and he points an imaginary gun to his head and pulls the
trigger. The old man goes home, and his wife says, "So
they're out of meat again?"
"It's worse than that," he replies. "They're
out of bullets."
Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got
a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better
go tell him and send him in to see me."
Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all
the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant.
"Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report
to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report
to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh, by the way, Jones,
your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his
office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to
inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more
tactful, next time?"
sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again
with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's
mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to
see me. This time be more tactful."
the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok,
men, fall in and listen up. Everybody with a mother, take
two steps forward. NOT SO FAST, McGRATH!"
telephone man joined the Army. As part of his basic training,
he went out on the rifle range. He fired 99 shots at the
target, and missed the target with every shot! His Drill
Instructor tried to find out why.
the matter with you?" asked the DI. "Why can't
you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
was a telephone man," replied the new recruit, "and
I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
telephone man checked his rifle, checked his rifle again,
and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger
in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the
end of his finger off!
the phone man said, writhing in pain, "the bullets
are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other