I'm a student of a renowned govt. medical college. I have
a strange relationship with a niece of mine (she is not
my direct niece). She is two years senior to me. We are
friends and I love her, but I also realise I will not be
able to make her mine. I have told her about my feelings
for her and she said nothing. Her behaviour really confuses
me. Sometimes it seems like she loves me and at other times
it seems that she doesn't think of me in that way. Whenever
I try to create distance between us she holds me back. We
are still very good friends, but her mixed messages confuse
--In A Fix
She might be confused herself and therefore is reacting
in this strange way. Perhaps she has some feelings for you
but at the same time knows that this is not socially acceptable.
These relationships often create misunderstanding and tension
in the extended family and should be avoided if possible.
I will advise you to remain friends and not take it any
I am a student of Class 12 and am in love with a girl in
Class 10. We have known each other since childhood and are
now in a relationship. Neither of our families knows about
it. The problem is that her father is a barber and my family
will never be able to accept her or her family. I really
love the girl a lot and I really want to marry her. At the
same time, I love my father too and do not want to cause
them any pain. I know that my family is never going to accept
our relationship. My father will be hurt and may even disinherit
me. What do I do? I am stuck between my family and girlfriend.
A boy of class 12 and a girl of class 10 should not even
think of such serious subjects as marriage or life-long
relationships. This is your time for fun, for studies, for
making and forming numerous relationships. It is also time
for thinking about what you want to be when you are older,
for planning for the future which might include choosing
your life partner when the right time comes. I will not
even go in the details of your family and their opposition
to your choice. Any parent would be upset at the suggestion
of marriage at this stage. Please take time to think this
over. You do not have to break the relationship but put
it in some perspective and not rush into anything.
I m a twenty-two-year old girl doing my BBA from NSU. I
have never been in any relationship because I feel that
these things always create problems. I have a friend who
I am very close to. Although I have had feelings for him
for two and a half years, I never told him because he was
engaged to another girl for almost six years. I remained
his best friend. Recently, he and his girlfriend broke up
and he was devastated. I was there for him to give him support.
It has now been four months since then and he has proposed
to me. It's not that he just started feeling this way about
me in last four months. I know that he liked me a lot from
the very beginning. I said yes to him. But now I don't know
whether I should continue this relationship because this
is my first relationship and he was in a serious relationship
for six years. I fear that he might not be able to love
me the way I love him. Maybe in his mind he will always
compare me to his ex. I do love him very much. He is perfect
for me in every sense. But I don't know whether I should
remain friends and wait for the right time, or take a chance.
Please tell me what should I do?
If you think that he is perfect for you then I would say
go for it. Yes, it is true that he was in a relationship
and might even compare you with his ex. However, these things
become unimportant in the face of a matured, adult relationship.
The most important thing is that you both are totally open
and frank with each other. You both must discuss all the
reasons why you both are suited for each other. Often people
fall in love when they are on the rebound or feel grateful
for the support they might have received. While this can
start a relationship, it is not enough to get into something
serious as marriage. Please go through your feelings and
base your relationship on more solid ground such as mutual
respect, support and the willingness to be flexible.