<%-- Page Title--%> Jokes <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 127 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

October 24, 2003

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Three guys are captured by terrorists, one smart ,one average and one dumb guy. The penalty would be death and they took the three guys and said " We will execute you one at a time", they placed the smart guy in front of a firing squad.

The smart guy thinks to him I've got to think of a disaster.
The commander orders "Ready aim."

Suddenly the smart guy yells out, "Earthquake!" All of sudden everyone scrambles.

They realise it's a false alarm but the smart guy gets away, they capture the other two, to carry out their sentence. They place the average guy in front of the firing squad. The average guy thinks to himself that if it works for the smart guy, I've got think of a disaster.
The commander orders, "Ready aim" the average guy yells out "Flood!" and everyone scrambles he gets away.

So it came down to the dumb guy. They place him in front of the firing squad. He thinks to himself, " Well it wirjed for the smart guy; it worked for average guy.

The commander orders" Ready aim " the dumb guy yells out "FIRE!!!!!"

There are three engineers in a car, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion. "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work!?"

Habibul Islam Habla is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Arre bhai, I am only following the instructions ," he says, " It says here, 'Answer the following questions in BRIEF'."

An 80 year old man went for his annual check up and the doctor said, "Friend, for your age you're in the best shape I've seen." The old fellow replied, "Yep. It comes from clean living. Why I know I live a good, clean, spiritual life." The doctor asked, "What makes you say that?" The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom light on for me every time I get up in he middle of the night."

The doc was concerned. "You mean when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord Himself turns on the light for you?" "Yep," the old man said, "Whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me." Well, the doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said.

"I just want you to know," the doctor said. "Your husband is in fine physical shape but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him." "He what?" she cried. "He said every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him." "Aha!!!" she exclaimed. "So he's the one who's been peeing in the refrigerator !"

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

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