I am a 20 year old girl living in Chittagong. My father
passed away six years ago and I live alone with my mother
and brother. I am in a relationship with my cousin and plan
on marrying him. The problem is that my brother has a disease
called hemophilia, for which my mother feels responsible
because my parents were cousins. Marriage within my family
is not an option because of repercussions it may have with
our children. Although I love my cousin and want to marry
him, I realise that my mother has a valid point and understand
her fears and concerns. My cousin however, does not try
to understand and continuously argues with my mother, telling
her not to worry about his future generations. I am really
confused and don't know which way to turn. Please give me
Marriage within the family does have medical implications.
You should consult a doctor and take some required tests
before you make up your mind. Your mother does have a valid
point which should be respected. However, on the other hand
there are many marriages between cousins which have not
resulted in any physical problems for the next generation.
It is better to be rational about this by taking the right
I am a student of agriculture and am in love with a friend
of mine (who is in the medical school). I have never told
her how I felt because we have been best friends for seven
years. Recently, however, she proposed to me over the phone
and I accepted. Twenty-one days later she told a friend
of mine to tell me that she was no longer interested. I
don't know what the reason is for her change of heart. Now
I am in confusion and frustration. Please help me.
You have every right to be frustrated and unhappy. However,
something must have happened for her to change her mind
so quickly. Either she has found something about you which
she does not like or she is now interested in somebody else.
In either case , you deserve an explanation and should have
a frank talk with her. The telephone is not always the best
means of communications, in this case you should meet and
have an open discussion with her. In the event you find
out that she is not really interested in you any more than
you must try to accept it gracefully.
I am sixteen-years-old and am studying in a prominent institution
and will be taking my O-level examinations shortly. I love
a fourteen-year-old girl who has been living in the same
premises as me for the last three years. I really love this
girl deeply. I know it is a very tender age for this kind
of stuff. But my love is not just an obsession. She is a
very pretty girl and I can be called unattractive compared
to her. I am afraid that she might deny if I propose her.
At the same time I want her badly. I cannot do without her.
If she refuses I would be in deep trouble as our families
have good relationship. In other words, I am anxious about
the consequences of her denial. I cannot wait longer and
want to do something immediately. Please help me
You are right, both of you are too young to get into
any serious relationship. You cannot compel a fourteen year
old to agree to this kind of commitment. The question of
her being pretty or you being unattractive is not relevant
here. What is important is for you to understand that she
is too young to agree to your proposal and you must be prepared
for her denial because that is what she will probably do.
Please do not get over anxious over such matters and put
your mind into other things such as sports, friendships
and studies. The more you think about such matters the more
obsessed you will get. Therefore take it easy and let things
go by for the time being.