Men and Multiculturalism
first grade class comes in from recess.
The teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?"
Alice says, "I played in the sand box."
The teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard,
and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked
She does and gets a cookie.
The teacher asks Billy what he did at recess.
Billy says, "I played with Alice in the sand box."
The teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box" correctly
on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
Billy does, and gets a cookie.
The teacher then asks Mustaffa Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but
they threw rocks at me."
The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds
like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard
and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you
through Chinatown in a foreign country, a tourist is fascinated
with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck
does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman
behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like
"Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many
year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at
Documentation Centre. Man in front was big blonde Swede.
Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He
say, "Hans Olaffsen." Then she look at me and
go, 'What your name?'"
"I say, Sem Ting."
was in a tea-stall bragging about his cow.
"That animal saved my life twice," he said. "Once,
I fell into the river and he jumped in and dragged me to
the bank. Another time my house caught on fire and he ran
in and saved me, the wife and kids."
The farmer passed around a picture of the miraculous animal.
One of the guys noticed the cow was missing a leg.
"Which accident did the cow lose its leg in?"
"Neither. An animal like that you don't eat all at
Men are like:
Placemats - they only show up when there's food on the table.
Mascara - they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Bike helmets - they're good in emergencies but usually just
Government bonds - they take so long to mature.
Copiers - you need them for reproduction but that's about
Lava lamps - fun to look at but not all that bright.
Bank accounts - without a lot of money they don't generate
a lot of interest.
High heels - they're easy to walk on once you get the hang
Mini skirts - if you're not careful they'll creep up your
Handguns - keep one around long enough and your going to
want to shoot it.