<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 129 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

November 7, 2003

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Dear Mita,
I am a third year student of Chittagong University. Two years ago I went to my elder brother's house and met a girl. I don't know the definition of a beautiful girl, but in my eyes she is the most beautiful. Three months ago we expressed our feelings for each other and fell deeply in love, but a problem has arisen. Her parents want to get her married off to someone else. I cannot think about anything without her. Please tell me what I should do?
Can't Think, Chittagong

Dear Think,
If you both are serious then nothing should stop you from being with each other. If she is so deeply in love then she must have the courage to face her father and convince him that you are the right person for her. She must also be able to withstand any opposition that comes her way. The strength of your relationship is the most important factor. Please remember it is very rare that parents will force a daughter to get married against her will.

Dear Mita,
I'm a student of RU. My father is a poor man. So I'm suffering from financial problem. A neighbour in our village has offered me to marry his daughter. If I marry his daughter, he will bear all my financial demand. My father also agrees, but I'm thinking about my prestige. What can I do? Please help me.
Hm…, Rajshahi

Dear Hm
Financial situations force many people to take decisions that they later regret. This might be one of those decisions. Marriage is a very serious business and although the financial factor is important, there is nothing more tragic than an unhappy marriage. You might try to meet the girl and find out if someone like her will make you happy. Moreover, she should also have a say in this matter. It is difficult for me to understand how desperate your situation is, but this kind of deal seldom works.

Dear Mita,
I am twenty-eight years old and have been in love with a beautiful girl for a long time. Once upon a time she loved me too, even allowing me to get physical. Unfortunately she is now in love with someone else and is ignoring my love for her. I do not understand how she can love someone else after allowing me to get so intimate with her. I know I can expose her and she will be forced to be mine, but I would never resort to such heartless actions, because she also happens to be the daughter of my teacher, whom I love with all my heart. It is impossible for me to forget her. Please tell me how I can win her love again without exploiting her.
HHDPF, Faridpur

This might sound very heartless, but if she has fallen in love with somebody else then there is nothing much you can do. The only way to win love is to give love but only when this love is welcome. Your decision not to exploit her is very matured and perhaps that might create a little feelings in her for you. Although it is very difficult to accept, but people change due to a number of reasons. In her case she might have found someone who she thinks is better suited to her. This is sad and unfair but as I said there is little you can do except extend your hand of friendship.


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