<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 130 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

November 14, 2003

<%-- Navigation Bar--%>
<%-- Navigation Bar--%>
<%-- 5% Text Table--%>

Dear Mita,
I'm 27 years old and am working in a private firm. I love a 20-year-old woman who has passed her H.S.C. exams this year. I've never told her how I felt because of fear. I go to her house almost everyday and talk to her over the phone as well. Whenever I go to her home she takes care of me. I am afraid that she might say no if I propose to her. If she refuses I would be in trouble as our families have good relationship. I really love her very much. What should I do now? Please help me.
Frustrated, Dhaka

I think I answered this question last time.

Dear Mita
I am a student of Hons final year at Jagganath University and am the only son of my family. Recently a girl of class nine expressed her love for me, and I also love her. She is very beautiful but is the victim of an incurable disease, blood cancer. Because there was no proper scope of meeting with her I sent her letters, photos and gifts once in a while. The problem is that our families don't get along. Our families -- especially my parents would never accept this relationship, and it may further aggravate the situation between our families. I have to give her up, but she refuses to give me up. What can I do?
Hope of answer, Dhaka

Dear Hope,
First of all, a relationship between a young man in Honours Final year and a girl of class nine is totally unacceptable. She is too young to take any decision of such a serious nature. Moreover her illness makes her especially vulnerable. You must try to get out of this and explain to her that it will not work. She needs help from her family to overcome the serious constraint in her life. Getting involved with you will further complicate things.

Dear Mita,
There was once a girl whose smile used to end all my sorrows. For the last five years I made all my dreams and future plans around her. Suddenly, however, a wind of change came and took her away from me. I lost her. She started behaving in a different way -- finding many problems within our relationship. For the sake of my love I tried to solve them but she finally gave me the ultimatum that I have to leave my mother if I wanted to make her mine. I had to say no and she then gave me back the engagement ring I had given to her. I realise this is my fate but I don't know whether she can give me back five years of my life. Please help me get over this.
S, Dhaka

Dear s
Nobody can give back time which has gone by. You have to be philosophical about it. Just think of the nice memories you have of the relationship. But then all relationships are not meant to last, this one was just not for you. It must be very painful but you will have to accept it. People change over time, perhaps she realised for some reason that you were not right for each other. Whatever the reason might be, it is time to look ahead and not delve in the past. Keep a positive attitude and many happy and good things will come your way.

Dear Mita,
I am a twenty-three year old studying psychology. I love a guy who is a third year in my subject. My problem is that although he is educationally senior he is two years younger than me. I am always worried about our future but I know he loves me very much.
Ms Sufferer, Dhaka

Dear Sufferer,
There is no hard and fast rule that if a boy is younger by few years then your future will be bleak. We know of many happy couples with age difference either way. The important thing is to make sure that you both are suitable for each other. Make sure that he is ready mentally and is mature enough to take the responsibility of a serious relationship. If you are confident about this then a slight difference in age will not matter.


(C) Copyright The Daily Star. The Daily Star Internet Edition, is published by The Daily Star