<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 131 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

November 21, 2003

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Dear Mita,
I am a 2nd year computer science and engineering student of University of Science and Technology (USTC). I have been in love with a girl in my village for one year. Although I know that she has not yet come of age for marriage, I proposed her but she said that she is too young to take such a decision; moreover her older sister is still unmarried. When her parents came to know about us-- they attacked my father and now there is a bit quarrel between our families. My parents have informed me that they will never accept this girl. Our two families were very close before this matter. I cannot think of anything without her. Please show me a way to get her.
Iqbal, Chittagong.

Dear Iqbal,
If the girl is under age then you will have to wait till she is older. Meanwhile find someone who will be able to mediate between your two families. You are only a 2nd year student and in no position to get married. Please complete your studies and establish your self before you enter into any serious commitment. If the girl is serious about you then she will wait.

Dear Mita
I'm a 16 years old, studying in a well-reputed college for my “A” level. I love a girl with all of my heart and soul. She is a few months younger than me and is giving her S.S.C. I have had a crush on her from the day I first saw her. We started talking on the phone and became very friendly; and now we have a great understanding between us: we even went out alone a few times. I'm not the most attractive of all her male friends, but I'm quite certain we have the best understanding and that's more important. Sometimes I really get bored if I don't talk to her for a day or so. She's a great person to be with and I really am proud when I walk with her in public places and I can't believe I am in the company of such a beautiful girl. I'm sure she's reading this as she always does on Fridays and is understanding who I am. I know with this letter I'm jeopardize our friendly relationship but I've got nothing else to do: I've got my back to the wall. I hope you will give me some kind of guidance and help me be with her.
Ameer, Dhaka

Dear Ameer,
I don not understand what kind of a guarantee you need. If you have a great understanding with the girl that you like then what is your problem? The only thing is that both of you are young and should keep the relationship in the right perspective. If you continue to be a good friend, respect her for what she is and support her growth and development, then there should be no problem. You both have a long way to go and many challenges to face. The important thing to remember is that there is a time and age for everything. For you, this is the time to study, develop friendships and plan you future. I did not understand your sentence of having your back to the wall.

Dear Mita,
I am in my final year of honours in English at Dhaka University. I have recently discovered that my English is very vulnerable and weak. What can I do? Should I prepare myself and sit for tests like TOEFL and IELTS? Do you have any methods or ways for me to improve my English. When I read newspapers what part should I pay more attention to. It is strange that may of my classmates evade the question of how to improve my English when I ask them. Please help me.
Worried, Dhaka

Dear Worried,
There are many ways to improve your English. Just sitting for expensive examination will not help you learn the language. You must try reading aloud, such as English newspapers, magazines etc. Try to converse in English as much as you can. Writing letters can also help. Take assistance from the computer there are many programs to help learn English. Take tests when you want to assess your proficiency.

Dear Mita,
I love a boy who is 2-3 years junior to me. Although we never talk to each other I have no doubt that we like each other. As I am conscious about the impossibility of this relationship I tried to resist my feelings. Unfortunately we have been out of each other's sights for over a year. I realise the futility of the saying “out of sight, out of mind” because I can't forget him even for a day. I fear that he misunderstands me and does not know how I feel about him. It is not possible for me to contact him or talk to him because I am not brave enough. I always expect him to talk to me first. What can I do? I am tired of struggling with myself. I am in a great dilemma now. Please give me a good suggestion.
Depressed, Khulna

Dear Depressed,
Please get out of this depression and analyse the reasons for your feelings for this person. If you have not seen him for a year, have no contact and don't even know whether he likes you, then your relationship is not going anywhere. It exists more in your mind then anything else. Being in love should not inhibit you from expressing yourself. However, you must also be prepared for a rejection, as this person has never made any commitment to you. If you want to stop struggling then get it out in the open and face the consequences otherwise you will continue to remain in this dilemma.


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