Shohag,I am twenty-four years old and studying Chartered
Accountancy at ICAB. I live with my sister and brother--in--law.
I'm in love with one of my neighbours -- a sweet girl even
though I don't know her name. My feelings of romance encompass
everything about her, even her hanging wet dresses on the
roof. In my eyes, the whole building in which she lives
in is like the abode of love. I want to ask for her hand
in marriage but my fear is that she might get married to
someone else! She comes from a highly educated family. So
I feel that if I can pass the CA exam it would not be a
problem to offer her marriage. On the other hand, it is
rare to pass CA in due time. Now what can I do? Please help
Shohagh, North Shajanpur, Dhaka
If you know that you can marry the girl of your dreams by
passing the CA then you should put all your efforts in doing
so. It might be rare but is certainly not impossible. Simultaneously,
try to know more about the girl in question, after all she
might also have a say in this matter. Your feelings seem
more like an infatuation than love since you do not even
know her name. Please remember, marriage is a serious matter
and should not be based on how sweet or pretty one is.
I am a student of third year honours in English. I always
wear hijaab. Six or seven months ago I joined a coaching
class. I really liked my teacher -- his reading style, his
attitude -- it is everything I would like in a man. I wanted
him to be my best friend and tell him everything about my
life. He suddenly transferred from our coaching class and
went away. I was really unhappy without seeing him and so
I went to meet up with him one day. At first he behaved
really properly but after a while he asked to see my face.
When I refused he started acting very badly towards me,
calling me a “black-sheep student” and saying that I was
too obstinate to ever be happy. I am very shocked by his
behaviour. I know I don't love him but at the same time,
I can't forget him even though I want to. Please tell me
how to forget him…
I cannot tell you how to forget him but his rude behavior
should awaken you to the fact that he is not what you think
he is. What ever might be the reason, he has no business
being rude. On the other hand, perhaps he is not interested
to befriend someone whose face he cannot see. You must accept
and acknowledge this. You need to meet and get to know people
who believe in your values and way of life which I am sure
you will. All this is a part of growing up, and though this
is a set back, you will certainly get over it.
I am a student of the department of management at a
University College. I have been involved with a student
in H.S.C. level for the last two years. We both love each
other very much but recently she is insisting that we get
married. I am very stressed out about this. Both our families
know about us but my family will not accept our wedding
at this time because I have my third year examinations coming
up. I really need your help, and don't know what to do.
The time and date of marriage should be decided by both
of you. If you are not ready then the girl should understand
and not put this pressure on you. It seems that the girl
is not matured enough for a serious business as marriage.
You should try to communicate to her that getting married
is not the end but rather the beginning of a long commitment
that needs nurturing and understanding.
I am twenty-five years old and am in a relationship
with an eighteen-year-old girl. She is neither a good student
nor good looking. She had a noble heart, or so I thought.
Once I kissed her and after that she urged me to marry her.
She presented me with a gold ring, a shirt and pants. I
could not refuse considering she would be hurt. I think
you have already understood that she tempted me to kiss
her and now she is condemning me for spoiling her. My parents
and relatives have forbidden me to meet her. If I avoid
her she will get very depressed and I don't want that. At
the same time I cannot marry a girl of such a low family
status. What can I do?
You do not have to marry anyone you don't want to . Regarding
her low family status, well, you should have thought about
it when you started the relationship with her. It seems
you are now regretting this relationship and want to get
out of it. The most honourable thing would be to come out
clean and tell her how you feel. It might not be very pleasant
but that is the only way. Meanwhile, you have to take responsibility
for your actions and not get into such situations in future.