I'm a final year university student. My father is very poor
and I was tutoring two students to get me by financially.
But due to academic pressure during my second year, I became
irregular with the tuition and lost my students. Financially
handicapped, I couldn't pursue my higher studies. At that
point, a close friend of mine who lives in the US (he went
there through a DV lottery) offered me financial help. I
was hesitant at first, but, finding no other way, I agreed
and he has been helping me ever since. Some days ago, his
family, who used to like me before, found out about this
and now despise me. I feel extremely embarrassed and have
considered not taking my friend's help anymore, but my parents
are looking to me for the future and I cannot disappoint
them, and without his help I can't do it. I don't know if
I should go on like this or just quit studying. I feel like
a parasite. Please suggest something.
Although your embarrassment is understandable you should
not quit studying. It is very important, no matter what,
that you complete your education, get a job and pay back
your friend. He is a friend in need who deserves full praise
for what he is doing for you. Regarding his family, well,
your friend should have a talk with them. Make it clear
that you are taking this money on loan and will repay it
whenever it will be possible for you to do so. You are certainly
not a parasite, just a victim of a situation on which you
have no control. You should maintain your pride and self-respect
by becoming somebody worthy. Many before you have done it
and so can you.
I'm a student of 1st Year, Honours, living in Dhaka. When
I was living in the village, I fell in love with a distant
cousin. We love each other very much and want to live near
each other. She has just passed her HSCs and wants to come
to Dhaka but her parents are reluctant to send her here
because of me. I can't marry her right now because of my
financial condition. What should I do? Please help.
I am afraid that there is not much you can do under the
circumstances. You are both very young and need time to
grow and develop before you get into anything as serious
as marriage. The fact that she does not live in the same
place as you is a reality that you have to accept. She is
not independent enough to come and live in Dhaka on her
own. Her parents for very legitimate reasons will not let
her come as they are concerned about her security and safety.
Since you're not yet in a position to take that responsibility,
it is better that you wait for the right time.
23 years old and doing my MA at a reputed university. I
have been involved with a girl for the past five years.
We love each other very much and have a very strong relationship
which cannot be weathered by any storm. The problem is that
my love has many male friends with whom she's cordial and
friendly. A few days ago, however, one of them proposed
to her and she refused him right away and told him about
our affair. He was unprepared for this and behaved rudely
with her, making her feel responsible for his misery. She's
a simple girl and is now in mental agony, feeling like she
cheated him by not telling him about our relationship before.
I can't seem to make her understand that she is not at all
responsible for anything, that she hasn't done anything
wrong, but she's still very disturbed about the matter.
How can I help to relieve her distress?
I think that she is making a huge fuss for not a very big
problem. The person in question will get over it and get
on with his life. If she is sure that she has done nothing
to encourage him then there is no need for her to feel guilty.
Falling in love, falling out of love, getting rejected are
all a part of growing up. It is with these experiences in
life that a person grows into maturity and someday finds
fulfillment. Setbacks such as the above will occur and one
has to take those in stride.