<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 140 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

January 30, 2004

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Dear Mita,
I have a problem. I have been dating a girl for the last two months. We get along well and I really like her. However, she has been sending me mixed messages. Sometimes she is really sweet and caring and sometimes she ignores me and won't call me for days. I understand that she is confused and so I am giving her the break she needs. Recently a new development has presented itself. She told me that she really liked her manservant and found him attractive and good looking. Now I really like this girl, but this, to me, is highly disturbing! What should I do?
--Thoroughly Repulsed

Dear Repulsed,
Before getting so repulsed find out what she means. It might be something silly and she did not mean it in any serious way. She might not be ready for a long term commitment with you and is sending signals in strange ways. Whatever the reason for her behaviour, she is clearly immature and someone who needs more time to make up her mind.

Dear Mita,
I need your help very desperately. I don't know how to tell my mother and father that I am gay. I am in love with a man from NSU. He also loves me but we are afraid to tell our parents, or for that matter, even our friends. I have heard that men in USA can legally get married and live happily ever after. Why can't we be accepted for what we are? Please help us.

Dear Nobody,
I am afraid I cannot help you much. The social and religious bias against this is so strong that it is almost impossible to accept this phenomenon normally. You have to realise that this is Bangladesh and not the USA. Please talk to someone who you both trust and respect and who respects you for what you are. I really cannot offer much advise.

Dear Mita,
I am an English teacher at a reputed school. I earn my living with a small income that I get from teaching. Recently, I fell in love with one of my students. Unable to control my strong sexual desire, I kissed her. Now she threatens me that she'll complain to the institution's principal. Ultimately I'll lose my job. Please suggest something to help me out of this problem.

Dear M,
I cannot help you as you have overstepped a line dividing decency and obnoxious behaviour. You have also breached the trust of parents and the institution that you work in. I honestly believe that you deserve to lose your job. This might have a very averse effect on your life. However, you should have known better. Saying that you could not control yourself is no excuse. What you have done is defined as "sexual harassment" and cannot be excised.

Dear Mita,
I'm 26 years old. I recently passed my M.S.S. and have been applying to various organisations for jobs. I fill up all the documents very carefully but I do not get any interview calls. This really frustrates me. I don't usually share my frustration with my family because I don't want them to think lowly of me, but I have become very depressed. I don't know what to do. Please help.

Dear Frustrated,
I know this is hard. However, remember the first job is always hard to get. Most organisations want experienced people and how does a person gain experience without getting a job! Please be patient and go on applying, sooner or later it will work out. I am sure that your family will not think less of you because they know that you are trying hard.



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