I'm a 25-year-old man serving in the Air Force. I was madly
in love with a colleague who also doted on me. We were very
passionate about each other, enjoying every moment we spent
together. He had astounding qualities and he was my role
model who I adored. We had a supernal relationship though
nothing happened between us as it so often does in the West.
We even decided not to marry our whole lives but thought
of ourselves as the happiest couple. Two years ago, he was
posted to another base and we were both frustrated at the
separation. During the first six months, we tried to continue
our relationship by talking regularly over cell phone. But
this wasn't enough and he became nervous and, though I know
he did it inadvertently, he began to contact me less. A
distance grew between us which turned into a great gap.
Nowadays I feel he is sort of indifferent and less caring
towards me. I can't imagine breaking up with him or life
without him. How can I get him back? Please help.
Certainly a gap has been created. You must meet with him
and talk this over. Just one meeting will not do therefore
you must make plans with him to see him over a longer period
of time. Many people cannot handle separation and react
in different ways. Perhaps he needs to be reassured about
your relationship. But however difficult it may be to accept
this, you must also be prepared to face the fact that he
might have lost interest in you. It is important that both
of you talk about it and discuss where your relationship
is heading and your future plans.
I'm a BA (Hons.) student at AUB. I live in a mess at Uttara.
My problem is that my roommates are always playing cards.
I can't concentrate on my studies because of this and some
of the other mess members don't like it either. They asked
me to ask the card-players to stop which I did but they
don't listen to me. What can I do?
I think you should talk to your room mates again and try
to reason with them. If this does not work then you will
have to take this up with higher authorities. Not being
able to study because of such disturbances is not acceptable
and you should not tolerate it.
an ex-student of a reputed private university currently
not doing anything. A few months ago, I met a handsome and
charming married man. He wanted us to be friends and I couldn't
say no. His charismatic behaviour and way of talking made
me crazy about him. Two months into the relationship, he
kissed me. We often go on long drives together. Nowadays,
it seems that he's most interested in the physical aspect
of our relationship which I don't like at all. But I can't
resist him when he wants to get physical though I've asked
him to share this intimacy with his wife. But he says that,
with her, love is absent. We can't even get married because
neither his nor my family will accept it, but I don't want
to have sexual relations with him without being married
to him. My problem is that I love him very much but can't
give him what he wants. Please help me.
My sincere advice is for you to get out of this relationship
as soon as you can. This will lead to nothing but heartbreak
for you. He does not seem to be a sincere person and is
only using you. If he does not love his wife anymore then
he should have the courage to admit that and break up with
her. I suspect that he wants to hold on to both the relationships
for very selfish reasons. You will have to be rational about
this and think what this is leading to or whether this has
any future or not. Please do not waste your time and energy
over something that will not come to anything ultimately.
He will certainly leave you after using you and you will
lose your dignity and self-esteem.