I am in a great dilemma. I live with my in-laws and am totally
different from them. They have very feudal attitudes, especially
regarding the domestic help. The maids are grossly underpaid.
My in-laws are very rich but extremely stingy when it comes
to the servants. We have good meals but the servants are
given only leftovers. I feel very bad about this but can't
do anything to stop the injustice. I can't tell my mother-in-law
anything because she wouldn't understand. Please advise
me on what to do.
You have cited a very practical problem and I am sure many
reading your letter will relate to it. Perfectly nice families
have very feudal attitudes towards domestic helps. This
is difficult to understand because in most instances these
same people are capable of immense generosity and sympathy.
I have seen this in our mothers, aunts and uncles. You will
just have to try and change their behaviour very gradually
because any such comments will not be well received. You
could also try and talk to your husband and ask for suggestions.
I'm a 24-year-old student. I completed my B.Sc. in Computer
Engineering from AIUB. I soon will be going to Australia
for my higher studies in Information Technology and already
have my visa. I am in love with the aunt of a girl I used
to tutor who recently completed BBA from NSU. I think everyone
has dreams and she is my dream-come-true. Now she wants
to go to Australia with me as my wife. The problem is that
she is married and is an Australian citizen. My parents
trust me very much and if I marry her they will be tremendously
shocked. Neither of our families will take it well. I don't
want to hurt my parents but I don't want to lose my love
either. What should I do?
I do not understand how she can go as your wife if she is
already married to someone else. She will first have to
sort out her first marriage problems before she makes plans
with you. If you both are so serious about each other then
ultimately your parents will understand and will give their
consent. It is for you to be sure if this is the right person
for you. Once this is certain, everything else will fall
a 18-year-old boy of Class 12 at Notre Dame College. I'm
crazy about cricket and love watching it on television.
There are cricket matches on television here every day.
But my HSC exams are just around the corner and I can't
concentrate on studying but rather watch cricket on television.
I just can't avoid it. What should I do?
Like you, hundreds and thousands of people including myself
love watching cricket. We all have our passions for one
thing or the other. This could be reading, cycling, singing
or sports. However, there is a time and place for this and
only becomes a problem when a disproportionate amount of
time is spent on it. A hobby cannot become an obsession;
if it does then you have to take steps to stop it. Allocate
a certain amount of time for your cricket and stick to it
as best as you can. It will not be easy in the beginning
but I am sure with some self-control you will be able to