see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly
ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”-- Erica Jong
husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.
We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.”--
not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know
I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.”- Dolly
been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.” --
lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.” --
high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.”
-- Sue Grafton
would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So
I grew hair under my arms instead. -- Sue Kolinsky
think -- therefore I'm single. -- Lizz Winstead
women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men
invade another country." -- Elayne Boosler
base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch."
-- Gilda Radner
every successful man is a surprised woman.” -- Maryon
politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want
anything done, ask a woman." -- Margaret Thatcher
have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine
marriage and a career.” -- Gloria Steinem
“Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths."
-- Baroness Edith Summerskill
men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little
noose around your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee
of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." --
I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps
they should live next door and just visit now and then."
-- Katharine Hepburn
WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS
is my only means of relaxation.
to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics
class pulls a hamstring.
over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down
and forget where they left them.
of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make
a woman gain 5 pounds.
not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
nice part about living in a small town is that when you
don't know what you're doing, someone else does.
older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because
by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
when I was used to yesterday, along came today.
I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks
people irritate me! Especially when they say things like,
"You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now
I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my
keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a
special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills.
She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't
all that communicative but I heard from it the other day
after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six
o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell
my body said, "Listen witch...do it and die!"
what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older
than 30 can fit into their stuff.