<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 144 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

March 5, 2004

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Dear Mita,
I told my teacher I have a crush on him. Later, I found out that he's married, though I'm not 100 percent sure. Now I want to undo the situation. What should I do?

Dear Mango,
Once you say something it is impossible to retrieve it. That is why one has to think before saying anything and value the importance of spoken words. Anyhow, you must go about your business and if the situation so demand please apologise to him.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 20-year-old woman. For the last three years I have been in a relationship with a man who is five years older than me. Although he pretends to love me we often have misunderstandings. He is very possessive and does not consider my feelings. I have been good friends with one of my neighbours since we were in college. He's a lot of fun, jolly and lively, and when he talks, I feel like listening to him forever. I think I'm developing deep feelings for him. I'm not even happy with my boyfriend because of his attitude , he doesn't even like me being friends with other guys. He hardly ever appreciates my work or achievements while my other friend always inspires me and never complains about anything. I know my marriage will hurt him and he may not be the jolly guy he is anymore. Please show me a way.

Dear X,
You are in a very confused state of mind. You must try and separate the two feelings. First clarify the relationship with your boyfriend. If he is so possessive, uncaring, unappreciative then why do you continue with him? This will only make you unhappy in the long run. It will not be wise to jump into another relationship just because you find some person jovial and interesting. Think carefully what you want from a relationship and whether this neighbour fits in that description. Most importantly, do not rush into anything which you might regret again. As for your present relationship, I do not think it is working and you should call it quits.

Dear Mita,
I am a 15-year-old guy. My problem is that I am extremely physically attracted towards girls. I go to a boys' school and do not have any female friends. But whenever I see any cute or sexy girls, I can't sleep at night. Is this a disease? Please help me.

Dear Someone,
This is not a disease but an unhealthy attitude towards members of the opposite sex. Perhaps it is your upbringing, your background or your environment, but you have not learnt to respect girls as persons. Try to start to thinking differently. Think of the hundreds of ways that girls and women contribute towards your life and towards your well being. They are much more than sex objects and till you realise this you will always have such problems.

Dear Mita,
I am 20 and studying at CU. My problem is that I am disappointed and suffering from indecision which is interfering with my studies. I have always dreamt of going to the UK to study there at some reputed university. I have thus been struggling to improve my English. A few months ago, I sat for IELTS and got a satisfactory score by which I could get admission into a university in the UK. But I've been depressed ever since because I've heard from a friend that even if I get a visa, I'll have to go to a college as university fees are very high. As a second year student, I can't decide whether I should go now and continue my study at a college relying on a part time job or whether I should go after completing my honours degree. Please give me some suggestions.

Dear NUR,
The decision is yours depending on your capability and financial situation. However, it is better to go after completing your honours. This gives you more time to get prepared and the older you are the more capable you become of handling the rigours of foreign life. Remember, it is not all honey and roses out there.



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