<%-- Page Title--%> Chintito <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 149 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

April 9, 2004

<%-- Navigation Bar--%>
<%-- Navigation Bar--%>

It Pays to Advertise


Name and address of advertisers have been withheld for fear of overwhelming response. The daily is not responsible for any of the jobs advertised, or for failure of the employers to pay salary or any associated benefits.

Wanted Nationality Jingles
A television ad where there will be no non-Bangladeshi performers who have to be dubbed in Bangla because you cannot possibly dub personality; in the least that of a Bangali. 32-teeth slow motion dancers should not be included; nor those with Hindi TV serial or film experience. People, who become extremely happy after using soap for a bath or brushing their teeth with toothpaste, as if they have got the key to the vault of the Bangladesh Bank, should seek employment in a banker's role. People who get hair-shocked after the first sip of a fizzy drink should try water.

Wanted Rather than Distributed
A highly sensitive Radar (Radio Detection and Ranging), remote detection system used to locate and identify objects that can sense hundreds of AK-47 rifles in small fishing boats before they dock or touch land. Radar must be precise enough not to leave 2 (two) nos. AK-47 rifles on board overnight; up to one may be considered for personal use of people marshalling the boats from outer anchorage. Radars that can also sense Tommy guns, Oozy guns, rocket launchers, pistols, hand grenades, one million bullets and explosives shall be given preference. Purchased and/or supplied Radar shall be destroyed without assigning any reason whatsoever if intelligence has to depend on gopon information given by human beings. Radars that have previously not dealt with a single arms cache of more than five truckloads per shipment need not apply.

Wanted Cheers for Tears
Onion at a price affordable for people whose full meal is paanta rice; for whom a piece of green chilli is an extra dish; in whose name every political party and politician fights any election. Importers of aircrafts and vessels, and mammoth developers or equivalent are specially requested not to get involved in this petty but significant business. Warning: Onion can make you cry.

Wanted for High Ways of Life
Separate road and/or lane for brand new brand name cars so that taxpayers and small bank depositors with whose contribution some of these vehicles are purchased are not crushed under them. Driving with a sense of humanity shall annul this ad.

Wanted Crying Wolf
A firm date for withdrawal of rickshaws from VVIP (Very Very Indiscriminately Potholed) roads as announced previously and more previously and most previously. Alternately, an announcement that this idea has been shelved for good (or bad) shall also be entertained.

Looking for a Test Win
A Test Match victory in the coming tour. There is no need to apply but players (only cricketers in this case, please) must be adept in application.

'My Foot' Ad
Footballers who are willing to concentrate on the last three minutes of a match in the next SAF Games. Footballers who have learnt from the war-ravaged Afghans how to quickly improve the standard of the game shall be given preference. BFF may try a minefield as the team's practice ground.

Left Wanting in the Water World
Swimmers for the next SAF Games who are ready to throw away their home stopwatches because they give readings two seconds slow. Swimmers willing to shave their head to gain speed are encouraged to apply. If same person is talkative and publicity oriented, he shall be disqualified.

Want to Live
Drinking water and electricity in Dhaka's Shahjahanpur area and in all other areas of the country where there are water pipes and electricity poles, and human beings, and elected representatives at thana/upazilla, district and national levels.

Most Wanted
A Home Minister. People with 'successful' past experience shall not be considered because they are over-qualified for the job.



(C) Copyright The Daily Star. The Daily Star Internet Edition, is published by The Daily Star