It Pays to Advertise
and address of advertisers have been withheld for fear of overwhelming
response. The daily is not responsible for any of the jobs advertised,
or for failure of the employers to pay salary or any associated
A television ad where there will be no non-Bangladeshi performers
who have to be dubbed in Bangla because you cannot possibly
dub personality; in the least that of a Bangali. 32-teeth slow
motion dancers should not be included; nor those with Hindi
TV serial or film experience. People, who become extremely happy
after using soap for a bath or brushing their teeth with toothpaste,
as if they have got the key to the vault of the Bangladesh Bank,
should seek employment in a banker's role. People who get hair-shocked
after the first sip of a fizzy drink should try water.
Rather than Distributed
A highly sensitive Radar (Radio Detection and Ranging),
remote detection system used to locate and identify objects
that can sense hundreds of AK-47 rifles in small fishing boats
before they dock or touch land. Radar must be precise enough
not to leave 2 (two) nos. AK-47 rifles on board overnight; up
to one may be considered for personal use of people marshalling
the boats from outer anchorage. Radars that can also sense Tommy
guns, Oozy guns, rocket launchers, pistols, hand grenades, one
million bullets and explosives shall be given preference. Purchased
and/or supplied Radar shall be destroyed without assigning any
reason whatsoever if intelligence has to depend on gopon
information given by human beings. Radars that have previously
not dealt with a single arms cache of more than five truckloads
per shipment need not apply.
Cheers for Tears
Onion at a price affordable for people whose full meal is paanta
rice; for whom a piece of green chilli is an extra dish; in
whose name every political party and politician fights any election.
Importers of aircrafts and vessels, and mammoth developers or
equivalent are specially requested not to get involved in this
petty but significant business. Warning: Onion can make you
for High Ways of Life
Separate road and/or lane for brand new brand name
cars so that taxpayers and small bank depositors with whose
contribution some of these vehicles are purchased are not crushed
under them. Driving with a sense of humanity shall annul this
A firm date for withdrawal of rickshaws from VVIP (Very Very
Indiscriminately Potholed) roads as announced previously and
more previously and most previously. Alternately, an announcement
that this idea has been shelved for good (or bad) shall also
for a Test Win
A Test Match victory in the coming tour. There is no need to
apply but players (only cricketers in this case, please) must
be adept in application.
Footballers who are willing to concentrate on the last three
minutes of a match in the next SAF Games. Footballers who have
learnt from the war-ravaged Afghans how to quickly improve the
standard of the game shall be given preference. BFF may try
a minefield as the team's practice ground.
Wanting in the Water World
Swimmers for the next SAF Games who are ready to
throw away their home stopwatches because they give readings
two seconds slow. Swimmers willing to shave their head to gain
speed are encouraged to apply. If same person is talkative and
publicity oriented, he shall be disqualified.
Drinking water and electricity in Dhaka's Shahjahanpur area
and in all other areas of the country where there are water
pipes and electricity poles, and human beings, and elected representatives
at thana/upazilla, district and national levels.
A Home Minister. People with 'successful' past experience shall
not be considered because they are over-qualified for the job.