<%-- Page Title--%> Jokes <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 149 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

April 9, 2004

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Get A Clue!

You Know You're A Little Slow When…
You got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!
A doctor would live next door while you bled to death trying to call 911!
You could not count to 21 because it is too high for your fingers and toes!
You used a knife to bust open the door then discovered it was unlocked!
You were in a food market and asked where they keep the tools!
You put lipstick on the dog to test because the bottle said Not tested on animals and decided to try it yourself!
You stared at your kids’ juice box because it said concentrated!
You kept buying Coke bottles because it kept saying Try Again!
You could not figure out the instructions for a pencil sharpener!
You decided not to buy your little girl a game boy because you thought it was for boys!
You looked in an Encyclopaedia for the meaning of Practical joke and couldn't find it!
You could not find the zipper for your pants!

Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how...
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Surfing in Nebraska.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few cans short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Funny Conversations
BOY : Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
GIRL : Why not ??
BOY : I'm broke.
BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO. because you make me sick.
Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something, It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
Shumi : Jamil says I'm pretty. Ashik says I'm ugly. What do u think, Parash?
Parash : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Imtiaz: Mom, can I have two piece of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.
Shubro : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I’m comfortable seated.
Laila : So what do you do?
Shubro: I close my eyes.
Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last week.
Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
Son : Well, it's a sponge cake, isn't it?
It was Eid and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my Eid shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
“Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

Sources: www.jokesgalore.com
and www.the-jokes.com



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