<%-- Page Title--%> Jokes <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 152 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

April 30, 2004

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Being Politically Correct

“Politically Correct" Terms
Dirty Old Man: Sexually focused chronologically gifted individual.
Perverted: Sexually dysfunctional.
Serial Killer: Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
Lazy: Motivationally deficient.
Fat: Horizontally challenged.
Fail: Achieve a deficiency.
Dishonest: Ethically disoriented.
Bald: Follicularly challenged.
Clumsy: Uniquely co-ordinated.
Body Odour: Non-discretionary fragrance.
Alive: Temporarily metabolically abled.
Worst: Least best.
Wrong: Differently logical.
Ugly: Cosmetically different.
Unemployed: Involuntarily leisured.
Short: Vertically challenged.
Dead: Living impaired.
Vagrant: Non-specifically destinationed individual.
Spendthrift: Negative saver.
Drunk: Chemically inconvenienced.
Pregnant: Parasitically oppressed.
Ignorant: Knowledge-based non-possessor.

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.
The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer said he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

A couple of opposing candidates for upazila office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Because of my 'personal touch.' For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."
"Oh, really?" replied the other. "I always tip them one taka and ask them to vote for you."

Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallies in the same park of a small town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd -- shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily.
Suddenly, the skies opened and it began to rain. One of the candidates fled to take shelter in a nearby restaurant along with half a dozen regulars.
The other candidate, however, continued to move through the crowd -- shaking hands, kissing babies, etc.
"That man's persistence yonder," observed one of the natives, "sure makes it easy to know who to vote for."
"Yep," another native agreed. "Sure can't see myself casting a vote for a man who hasn't the good sense to come in out of the rain."

A government employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp.
"This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold diet Coke right now!"
He gets his Coke and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful women reside."
Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work ever again."
POOF! He's back in his government office.

Source: jokescentre.com



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