Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies.
Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mommy asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do
If you have a lot of tension and you get headaches, do what
it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two and keep away from children."
Wrong With Me Doctor?
An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for
a check-up. He said, "I feel terrible. Please examine
me and tell me what's wrong with me." "Let's begin
with a few questions," said the doctor, "Do you
"Alcohol?" said the man. "I'm a teetotaller.
Never touch a drop."
"How about smoking?" asked the doctor.
"Never," replied the man. "Tobacco is bad
and I have strong principles against it."
"Well, uh," asked the doctor, "do you have
much sex life?”
"Oh, no," said the man. "Sex is sin. I'm
in bed by 10:30every night . . . always have been."
The doctor paused, looked at the man hard, and asked,
"Well, do you have pains in your head?"
"Yes," said the man. "I have terrible pains
in my head.”
"OK," said the doctor. "That's your trouble.
Your halo is on too tight."
A guy from Alabama was suffering from constipation, so his
doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the guy complained
to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.
"Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor
"What do you think I've been doing," said the
man, "shoving them up my behind?"
One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My
son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone!
Help!" A man from a nearby table stood up and announced
that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He
stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped
his hands around the boy's gonads and squeezed. Out popped
the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though
nothing had happened. "Thank you! Thank you!"
the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?" "No,"
replied the man. "I work for the National Board of
History of Medicine
A short history of medicine: I have an ear ache. 2000 B.C.
-- Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. -- That root is heathen,
say this prayer. 1850 A.D. -- That prayer is superstition,
drink this potion. 1940 A.D. -- That potion is snake oil,
swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. -- That pill is ineffective,
take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. --That antibiotic is artificial.
Here, eat this root.