I am a half Bangladeshi man of 25, living in Dhaka for the last
two years. I am madly in love with a girl who is four years
younger than I am and we have been living together for a while.
But now my mother, who is a Bangladeshi, wants me to get married
to a girl of her choice. She knows about my partner and loathes
her. My partner's family likes me and they do not have any problem
with us staying together. But my mother has constantly been
making life difficult for me by emotionally blackmailing me
in several ways. It is difficult for me to hurt my mother as
I love her, though there is a huge gap between us, as she had
left me when I was three years old. Please advise me as to how
I can get rid of this problem.
--Perdu dans l'amour
I guess you will have to make a difficult choice between your
mother and the woman you love. Mothers tend to be traditional
when it comes to their sons. She believes that the girl is not
suitable for marriage because she lives with you but finds you
perfectly eligible to marry another girl (even though you have
been living with a girl). These are facts of our society; we
have different standards for men and women. You must continue
to try and make your mother understand that you happiness lies
with this girl. If however she does not understand then you
will have to take the tough decision.
I'm a 22-year-old university student. My problem is that I see
many couples on campus showing their affection. This arouses
me and I have begun to masturbate frequently. I know being caught
up in such thoughts and urges is not good and that they will
mess up my studies. But it has become a big problem that I don't
know how to deal with. I feel like I'm going insane. What should
If you think that this problem is getting out of hand then you
should see a doctor..
I'm a 20-year-old male studying at a reputed private university
in Dhaka. I have a very weird problem of taking everything very
seriously. Every time I hear a news or approach something, I
always tend to think of the negative effect or side of it and
as a result, my confidence level becomes very low. I don't have
many friends either because every time I see someone, I start
comparing myself to him or her. If I feel that this person is
better then me or vice versa, then I tend to move away. For
example, there is someone who likes me a lot and like her too.
She is actually a better student than I am and is very lively
compared to me. But due to my odd personality, I always try
to avoid her. I feel that something must be done to stop this
inferiority complex within me. Please help.
Only you can help yourself in this situation. You have to take
a real effort to build your self-confidence and self esteem.
You will always come across people who are better in some ways
and inferior in other respect. People are a combination of good
and bad traits and that is what makes us human. A part of growing
up is to realise that and learn to adjust with different kinds
of people. To accept differences and build on the similarities,
that is the way to build relationships. It does not matter at
all if someone is a better student. You may have other qualities
which may compliment her accomplishments. There is no reason
to shy away from people who you think are superior than you.
You might not know but she may also have many faults of which
you are unaware. Therefore take a positive view of life and
count all the benefits you have compared to half of our population.