I'm a second year science student of DU. I got in after a
hard struggle with the admission test. But after getting in,
the discriminatory behaviour of some of the teachers towards
male students has really shocked me. I had heard it about
it in the past from my seniors but didn't believe it then.
But when this happened to me here, I felt very helpless. For
example, in our first year practical exams, all the girls
got 70 percent marks while the boys did poorly though we attended
classes regularly and did all our work. Teachers behave politely
with the girls but rudely with us boys. I'm not against women
and I believe both men and women should enjoy equal rights.
But this sort of discrimination and bias towards girls is
really frustrating. I'm losing interest in my studies and
even considering quitting. Please tell me how to deal with
It is rather strange that in a society where girls are generally
always discriminated against, one institution actually favours
them and discriminates against boys! Have you ever considered
that the girls got good grades because they deserved it while
the boys probably did not study as hard as they should have?
Are you aware that in all national examinations girls are
doing better than boys? I do not intend to trivialize your
concerns but you should take note of the above. Regarding
losing interest in studies. The only person this action will
harm is you. Therefore forget about others and concentrate
on your studies. If you have some concrete evidence of discrimination
then bring it to the attention of the authorities.
I'm a final year student of DU. My parents are government
employees. My father became physically disabled after a road
accident in 1984 and my mother is involved with another man.
We all know about it but can't do anything it and it doesn't
help that my father was also involved with someone else in
the past. The two of them are always fighting, each blaming
the other. My elder brother is a drug addict and my parents
don't even seem to care. I can't take this anymore. What should
You are certainly in a very difficult situation and have all
my empathy. All I can say is that since you have come so far,
do not give up now. Complete your education and become an
independent person, both financially and emotionally. Not
everyone has the good fortune of inheriting a normal, loving
and stable family. Please have faith and with determination
you will be able to overcome this difficult situation.
I'm an 18-year-old first year HSC student but I can't study.
I only have a private tutor for math but I know that if I
work hard I can complete my syllabus. I have enough time but
I just can't concentrate. I don't know why this is happening.
I'm not involved with anyone; nor do I suffer from any sort
of mental pressure. If I sit down to study, I can't concentrate
for more than 10 or 12 minutes, even though I try to focus
on my goal. I'm afraid to think of my future if I continue
like this. Why does this happen? What should I do?
--Concerned and Disappointed
Lack of concentration is a common problem at this age. You
should be able to overcome it by keeping on trying. Read other
books along with your course material. Put your mind to it
and you will succeed. Please remember, there is nothing a
person cannot accomplish with determination and willpower.
It is just a mater of trying hard enough.
I'm a 30-year-old banker without very many family obligations
to fulfill. My family wants me to get married and are looking
for a suitable bride. However, I have met a girl through one
of my friends who is cute, sober and modest and I like her.
But she is an HSC student and I was wondering whether the
age gap between us would be a problem, though the girl's family
is interested in this match. Should I go for it?
Yes, I do think the age gap is too much and that you should
look for someone closer to your age. She might be cute and
sober but not mature enough. However, if you really like her
then at least give this time and get to know her better. It
is not wise for a 30-year-old to jump into marriage without
really finding out more about the person
I'm still a student but am about to graduate very soon. I
can already feel the load of the expectations of my family
as I am the son of a lower middle class family. My family
thinks I'll get a suitable job after I graduate and relieve
them of their sorrows. But I'm afraid of our job market. I
don't have money to bribe anyone. Neither do I have any "uncles"
to recommend me. Can you assure me in any way about my future?
There is no way to assure you. The only guarantee you have
is to excel in whatever you do. Do very well in your examinations
and somebody is bound to take notice. Get your first job somehow
and work so hard that you become indispensable for the organisation.
I know this is hard but this is the only way.
I'm a student and everyone says one's student years are the
best years of one's life. For me, this is far from the truth.
My father and mother are always quarreling -- they have been
since I was a child. I hate it when they fight and I've asked
them not to but they don't stop. I feel psychologically disturbed.
I can't study properly. Sometimes I cry out loud and I've
even tried to kill myself. I behave badly with everyone and
am really, really unhappy but can't even talk to anyone about
it. What do I do?
There is a similar letter above and as I said I have all the
empathy for your situation. Just concentrate on your studies
and tell yourself that all this will be over as soon as you
become independent. Do not lose hope as there is always daylight
at the end of the tunnel. It is very unfair of your parents
to burden you with their fights. Have you talked with a relative
or any of their friends? Perhaps they might help. All I can
say is keep faith and continue to work for your independence.
I'm a 21-year-old second year student of English at National
University. I've been involved with a guy for three years.
The problem is, I don't think he loves me like he used to.
He has undergone a great change. He had to move to Dhaka for
work and we last met nine months ago. We have communicated
over the phone since but I'm beginning to feel he's not interested
in talking to me anymore. I'm very hurt. I love him very much
and all this is hampering my studies. I've tried to make him
understand but he remains passive. What should I do?
I don't think there is very much you can do if he has fallen
out of love. The separation might have made him realise that
you are not the right girl for him. It is sad but a fact that
you will have to accept. There is no way you can force a person
to love you. However, you can behave in a dignified way so
that he remembers you with respect.
I'm a student of English at SUST. I asked out one of my classmates
but she refused right away, saying that relationships between
classmates aren't promising for a good future. She told me
to think of her just as a friend and I told her I would but
I can't. I act like it, but it's artificial and I don't like
being artificial. As a result, I'm very frustrated and can't
concentrate on my studies. What can I do?
As I have written many times before, the decision to have
or not have a relationship is personal and cannot be forced.
If she has conveyed her wish so explicitly then you have no
alternative but to accept it. If it is too difficult to be
around her then stay away from her company but please do not
blame her for your frustrations. Not concentrating on your
studies will not get you anywhere. Rather, a determination
to do better will land you friends which might turn into long