Your Mate In Heaven or Hell or in Between
people believe that marriages are made in heaven, others may
argue that they are forged somewhere in hell; and many feel
that marriages are in all probability made right here on good
old terra firma. Many search for Mr or Miss Right while others
wait for their soul mate. Whatever our views, when considering
marriage, the majority of us carefully consider and evaluate
the major pros and cons of the situation. We measure our intended
against our expectations. We assess their politics, their
family, their background, their ambitions, their religion
and their prospects. Many of us also allow ourselves to be
distracted by a series of irrelevances. Is he tall? Is she
fair? Is he going to go bald? Is she pretty? We do not do
this on purpose. Marriage is altogether too weighty a matter
for us to indulge in frivolous judgements. When I use the
word irrelevancies, it is not to belittle the views held by
people but to point out that you have to take into account
both the big things and the little things in life, especially
if it has to do with marriage.
sincerely believe these things to matter for all sorts of
reasons. Some of them we have been taught to regard as important.
Others strike us significant in the light of our own convictions.
It may seem wholly inconceivable to us that we could spend
the rest of our lives in a relationship with one human being
who (to pick a random list) clearly has communist tendencies/
is a single child/ comes from a family of footballers/ wants
nothing more than to be the world's fastest knitter/ devoutly
believes in the teachings of scientology/ is likely to be
promoted to head of the stationary cupboard at some point
in the next 20 years as long as (s)he plays their cards right.
I don't personally know anyone like this and would not hold
it against them if I did. It really is just an illustration.
So any scientologist, communist, single offspring of footballers
nursing ambitions to conquer the world of knitting and taking
over their office stationary cupboard should please consider
that any similarity is purely coincidental and no similarity
to any person, living or otherwise is intended and no judgement
positive or negative is being passed upon them. Right--that's
the diversity police dealt with. And thank you, whoever was
originally responsible for the inspiration of that disclaimer.
you were to ask a female between the ages of 16 and 26 what
they would want in a partner, virtues such as "being
understanding", "generous" and "having
a sense of humour" would inevitably feature on their
list. If you ask a man the same question, "understanding",
"not too demanding" and "low maintenance"
may feature heavily! However, as you get older and wiser (people
like to think that they get wiser with age) our priorities
change and factors far more practical and far less romantic
take precedence. The little known truth is this. When considering
potential partners, you should really be asking yourself additional
and much more basic questions. In fact, how surreal would
it be if before your impending nuptials you had to fill in
a questionnaire with yes/no, true/false or multiple choice
questions! They would probably have to include questions such
as the following:
Do you remember to replace the lid on the toothpaste tube
after brushing your teeth?
2) When you have a shower, does the bathroom have a shower
3) When relatives of your prospective partner come to visit,
would you (a) hide in a cupboard, (b) greet them with open
arms, or (c) greet them with open arms but wish you were hidden
inside a cupboard?
4) When you see a piece of paper on the floor, do you (a)
leave it there (it's biodegradable after all), (b) pick it
up, or (c) search out the culprit and make them pick it up?
5) While sitting to watch TV, do you commandeer the remote
control and switch from the channel being watched to a channel
of your choice?
wise man once said that whatever irritates you about a person
now, will not get better with marriage. In fact, it will probably
get worse, when you consider all the hundreds of little compromises
you have made and are once again confronted by the reality
that your beloved still cannot remember to replace the paper
in the bathroom when it's finished.
are all put on this earth as individuals and we know that
no two people are alike so it is naïve to think that
the ideal partner really exists. This is in no way meant to
be a deterrent for all you single people out there, on the
contrary, all I am saying is that it is a given fact, sad
that it might be for us to accept, that none of us are perfect,
so when a person accepts the virtues of their partner along
with their flaws and foibles and still finds them wonderful,
you have the recipe for a great marriage. Once you have ironed
out all the little wrinkles, you end up with a companion who
will be there for you at the end of the day, a friend who
you can talk to about anything, someone to share your day
to day worries and happiness, all rolled into one package
called your spouse.