I'm a 23-year-old girl about to graduate. I have a very strange
problem and I don't know how to deal with it. I have this
strange habit of procrastinating and it's causing me a lot
of trouble. Even when I know that there is something important
to be done, I just waste time worrying about it instead of
taking action. By the time I do take action, it's usually
too late and it leads to complications and difficulties for
me and also causes others to misunderstand me. I don't know
what's happening to me. I was never an irresponsible person
but nowadays I don't seem to have any willpower. What could
be the reason for this and how should I rectify myself?
The only person who can help is you. There is a need to do
some serious thinking and you have to decide what is the aim
of your life. Obviously there is some problem somewhere which
is leading to such behaviour. You might try to set targets
for yourself with deadlines and then try your best to meet
them. You have to develop some level of self discipline otherwise
it will not be possible to get out of this situation.
I am 25, but am not clear about relationships between the
sexes. I've been involved with a girl for a long time--sometimes
it seems like love and sometimes only a natural desire for
the human body. We're not sure as to what to do as we don't
understand our own love and sexual relationship. Can you explain
what this is and what the outcome will/should be.
Love is about respecting, supporting and helping to fulfil
each other's dreams and aspirations. It is also about being
responsible towards ourselves and our families. Before adults
get into a sexual relationship they should first work out
The most important one is related to mutual respect and a
sense of responsibility. For two mature people in love, physical
love is only a part of a bigger and deeper relationship. It
is this relationship that lasts a lifetime and that is what
you should strive for.
A boy named H has liked me for the past five years but I only
got to know it over a year after we became friends. Though
I didn't accept his proposal, we remained good friends. A
year later, he got involved with someone else but it didn't
work out . I also got involved -- with his cousin -- and tried
to make the relationship work until I found out that he was
two-timing me. After that, I got used to my life of freedom,
not knowing that H still liked me and had been waiting for
me. A few days ago, he proposed again and I accepted . But
the problem is that he is a Shia Muslim and I am a Sunni from
a very religious background, which is the main reason I didn't
accept his proposal the first time. I feel miserable and helpless
thinking of the future and I don't know whether or not I'm
doing the right thing. I love H a lot but I'm pessimistic
about my future. Please help.
If you really love him then this Shia and Sunni business should
not be a problem. If it is a question of convincing your families
then you will have to wait and try to change their minds.
I do not understand why you are so pessimistic about your
future. Shia is just another sect and not even another religion
-- so why are you so concerned about it? People who are committed
to each other cross much more difficult hurdles. Yours is
not such a big problem and should be easy to overcome. The
most important factor is both of your commitment to the relationship.