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     Volume 4 Issue 4 | July 16, 2004 |

   Cover Story
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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a student of SUST. I'm facing a problem regarding debt. Those who lent me the money are not asking for it back, so I don't feel pressure from them. But I still feel ashamed. I can pay back some of the money now, but the English medium curriculum I'm studying in is really difficult and I wanted to take a short English language course to help me for which I'll need the money. I'm in a dilemma between wanting to do well in school and being free from debt and shame. What should I do?

Dear R,
There is no shame if you tell those who have lent you the reason why you cannot repay them now. The important thing to remember is that you must repay the debt as soon as you are able. If you continue to be in debt for a good reason then you should not feel guilty about it. You should certainly take the English language course; hopefully this will help you to pay off your loan quickly.

Dear Mita,
I am a 17-year-old girl and the daughter of two working parents. Both my father and my mother are ambitious about my future and are overprotective. They trust me a lot and count on me to do well in my studies. I love my parents and will do anything they want me to. But it is hard for me to live up to my parents' expectations. For instance, my parents do not understand that like all girls my age, I might be interested in having boys as friends. They don't allow me any privacy. They want to know who I'm talking to on the phone and even what I'm talking about word for word. I am never allowed to go anywhere with my friends. And there's no use talking to them about it because they'll take me for a rebellious daughter and rebuke me even more. I am not complaining but everybody wants some freedom once in a while, don't they? If you were me, what would you have done?

Dear M,
You are right, everyone needs some freedom and a little privacy and you are certainly entitled to it. However, remember, parents are over protective because they love their daughters and worry about their security. The way they express is not right but their intention is not bad. You must try to communicate with them, especially your mother who might be more understanding of your needs. You do not have to rebel to convey a point. This can be done through negotiation and discussion. You can also prove to them in different ways how responsible and mature you are and they will start to trust you gradually. I know being a teenager is tough but parents do want the best for you.

Dear Mita,
I'm a final year student of DU. I love one of my friends. He is actually my best friend. He loves me too. But he is of a different religion and my family won't consider this. My parents are looking for a suitable bridegroom for me and I am going to marry whoever they want me to because I don't want to cause them the mental strain while they're also physically not very fit. I told my friend about this and he agreed with me, but I know how difficult it must be for him. Have I made the right decision or am I cheating anyone?

Dear R,
I do not know how old you are but it seems you have made a decision taking everything into consideration. Since you have already made the decision it is not very constructive to think about the negative consequences. Apparently the love between you both was not very strong and you have decided to break it off. Perhaps you have made the right decision. Just remember, marriage is a very serious business and it is better not to plunge into it just because your parents want you to. You have the right to choose and you should take your time to do so.






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