at Things Differently
the gods stay up in heaven?
Because they are afraid of what they have created!
Two dumb guys came across a mirror one day.
Guy 1 looked in the mirror and said "I know that face
but I can't quite put a name on it."
Guy 2 grabbed the mirror and said "You idiot, that's
A lady calls up the police department: Officer, there is a
man exposing himself in the next building.
Dispatcher: OK, we'll be right over, lady.
(Five minutes later at her apartment.)
Officer: Which way, lady?
Lady: This way officer, he's still shamelessly baring himself.
Officer: Where is he, lady? I don't see any naked man.
Lady: Oh, you have to look through this telescope.'
all those people running?
They are running a race to get a cup.
Who will get the cup?
The person who wins.
Then why are all the others running?!
Freddie was 18 years old, friendly and eager to do things
right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had
just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general
go-fer at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go
out for coffee.
He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos.
When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?"
The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few
seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about
six cups to me."
"Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular,
two black, and two decaf."
My parents are both busy professional people and have trouble
finding time for chores and home maintenance. On weekends
they each make a list of things to be done. Father's list
is never completely crossed off, but Mother's always is. Puzzled,
I asked her how she manages that.
"Simple," she answered with a satisfied grin. "I
do the chore first, and then I put it on the list and cross
lady, not quite up on the ins and outs of banks, was surprised
to receive a notice demanding payment on her loan. She called
the loan officer and said, "I can't return your money.
I'm not finished with it yet."
the stock market is at an all time high, the ups and downs
frighten a lot of small investors like me. I went to my financial
advisor at the bank and asked if he was worried. He replied
that he slept like a baby.
I was amazed and asked, "Really ??? Even with all the
"Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and
cry for a couple of hours."