I got a job after completing my education and now my family
wants me to get married. I have many women friends but I was
never attracted to any of them. After watching the movie Far
from Heaven, I discovered my sexual identity. I have seen
many doctors since and my problem is not curable. I tried
twice to commit suicide. I'm trying to live my life in my
own way. I want to stop my parents from looking for a bride
for me. They are religious and will not understand my feelings.
I love them and don't want to shock them by revealing my identity.
What should I do?
A confused man
This a very difficult situation and something that I have
very little expertise on. I suggest that you talk to your
trusted doctor and take his advise. The fact that your parents
will not understand is natural. Somebody besides yourself
needs to discuss this with them. Meanwhile, they cannot force
you to get married.
Ever since I was a child I used to be haunted by nightmares,
some of which came true. Recently I saw a nightmare in which
I killed my girlfriend, stabbing her with a sharp knife. The
dream was crystal clear to me. I could see all the moves,
see myself stabbing her 13 times in the chest, I could smell
the blood all over me. Should I tell her about the nightmare?
She is all I need and I'm afraid of losing her in real life,
especially because of myself. What should I do?
If you think that this problem is serious enough then
please see a psychiatrist. You need professional help and
I cannot advise you.
I'm a 20-year-old man. One of my best friends fell in love
a month ago. Recently, I've noticed that she is often pensive.
When I asked her whether anything was wrong, she said that
her relationship with the man was strained. Apparently, he
tried to kiss her, as most lovers do nowadays, but she being
a pious girl refused to have any sort of physical relationship
before marriage. The boy then told her that he would not speak
to her again until she changed her decision. I don't think
anyone should force themselves upon anyone else. Is this love?
I have suggested that my friend forget the boy since he obviously
does not respect her feelings. Am I right? What can she do
now to forget him.
I agree that no one should force oneself on any one and it
is every adult person's individual right to set their own
code of personal conduct. I cannot advise what she should
do to forget him but she certainly needs to have a more open
dialogue with him and explain her problem. This boy cannot
put an ultimatum on her and expect her to reciprocate. I agree
that this relationship does not have much of a future. It
is for the girl to realise this herself and get out of it.
(R) thedailystar.net 2004