When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.
A couple of days later, the town drunk was walking through
the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the
area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran
and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent
close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognisable music
coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got
the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent
his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah,
yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
a while longer and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony,
and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate
kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth...
the realisation of what was happening dawned on the magistrate;
he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in
the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to
worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
like a woman
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe
storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to
worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular
she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to
die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want
my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! In all the years
I've lived, no one has ever made me really feel like a woman!
Well, I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make
me feel like a WOMAN??"
moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own
peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman
in the front of the plane.
a man stands up in the rear of the plane.
can make you feel like a woman," he says.
Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt
one button at a time. No one moves.
is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches.
He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he
reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the
trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."
The Angel and the Statues
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female,
faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came
down from heaven.
been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That
I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you
both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything
a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the
bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling,
laughter and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the
two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking
even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue
and said, "Great! Only, this time, you hold the pigeon
down and I'll poop on its head!"
(R) thedailystar.net 2004