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     Volume 4 Issue 14 | September 24, 2004 |


   Cover Story
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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a first year student of DU. We often have to speak with our teachers as well as do our homework in English. But, because different teachers follow different language styles, namely, British and American English, I have trouble following them and sometimes mix up both styles in my own writing. I know it is wrong to mix Shadhu and Cholito bhasha in Bangla. Is this a problem in English as well? How can I get rid of my confusion? Which style should I follow?

Dear ARS,
I do not think that should be a problem and there is no need to get overly concerned about it. There are certain words that are pronounced and spelt differently in English and American styles. I believe that both are acceptable and your teachers will understand if you write one or the other.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 23-year-old girl about to graduate. I have a very strange problem and I don't know how to deal with it. I have this strange habit of procrastinating and it's causing me a lot of trouble. Even when I know that there is something important to be done, I just waste time worrying about it instead of taking action. By the time I do take action, it's usually too late and it leads to complications and difficulties for me and also causes others to misunderstand me. I don't know what's happening to me. I was never an irresponsible person but nowadays I don't seem to have any willpower. What could be the reason for this and how should I rectify myself?

Dear SHF,
I am sure there is nothing wrong with you. You are just going through a phase in which perhaps there are other things which is distracting you. Just think about one task that you will complete and stick to it no matter what. You just have to be more disciplined and also determined. I am sure this will pass and you will soon revert to your usual responsible self.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 22-year old girl and I've just completed BBA from a leading private university. As a student, I was not extraordinary but definitely above average. I'm ambitious about my career and I want to be successful and financially independent. I've been looking for a job for the last few months haven't got any good offers as yet. This is extremely frustrating but I'm not giving up because I believe that through patience and perseverance, I will eventually achieve my dreams. I would also like to get an MBA degree while I'm working. But my problem is that my parents are desperately trying to marry me off as soon as possible. They really don't care about my career or my MBA. It really surprises me because they are both highly educated and I never expected them to run to matchmakers and marriage bureaus, which is what they've been doing lately. One possible reason for their concern could be that I'm not good-looking and they're worried about not getting good marriage proposals. I don't know for sure because they don't talk openly about it. Whatever the reason, they seem to be in a hurry but I am not yet mentally prepared for marriage. I guess I'm a huge liability for my parents but I'm just not ready for marriage at the moment. Two years ago I broke up with my boyfriend of five years because he was unfaithful to me. But now I regret it because it's better to marry an unfaithful man I love than to settle for a stranger. I feel confused and helpless. I am losing my confidence and self esteem. I tried talking to my friends but none of them really understand because they are not being pressurized by their families the way I am. I am so stressed out I wish I could run away to some far off place and be alone. Can you tell me what I should do?

Dear TT,
I agree that no one should force oneself on any one and it is every adult person's individual right to set their own code of personal conduct. I cannot advise what she should do to forget him but she certainly needs to have a more open dialogue with him and explain her problem. This boy cannot put an ultimatum on her and expect her to reciprocate. I agree that this relationship does not have much of a future. It is for the girl to realise this herself and get out of it.




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