. . . But Not Quite!
mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it is gone."
was a man with a bald head and a wooden leg who got invited
to a fancy dress party. He didn't know what costume to wear
to hide his head and his leg so he wrote to a fancy dress
company to explain the problem.
days later he received a parcel with a note saying, "Dear
Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will
be just right as a pirate."
thought this was terrible because they had just emphasised
his wooden leg and so he wrote a really rude letter of complaint.
passed and he received another parcel and a note which said,
"Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a
monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and
with your bald head you will really look the part."
was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants
decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game
was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals
to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player
was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the
Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant
trod on the little ant, killing him instantly.
stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're
doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?"
elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him --
I was just trying to trip him up."
was this couple that had just had a baby. The baby was very
cute except that he had one small problem -- he didn't have
any ears. So one day the family came over to see the new bundle
of joy. Everyone would walk up to the cradle and then come
back whispering. Nine times out of ten, about the baby's ears.
Well, Uncle Rahim went to the cradle but he just couldn't
hold his opinion to himself.
"The baby is cute, but what happened to its ears?"
mom ran away overflowing with tears and the husband said,
"Uncle Rahim, my wife is still pretty sensitive about
the baby's ears. Do you think that maybe you could say something
nice about the baby?"
Rahim agreed. The husband called everyone to the family room,
including his wife, so that they could listen to Uncle Rahim.
Rahim said, "That baby sure does have beautiful skin
just like his mother."
gave a cheerful smile and blushed.
uncle said, "Look at all those beautiful curly black
locks he has!"
said, "Oh, and those big black eyes, they're breathtaking!"
said, "And they're 20/20 vision too!"
then said, "Well, I sure as hell hope so, because he
sure couldn't wear any glasses!!"
(R) thedailystar.net 2004