I'm a first year student of Law and Justice at Rajshahi University.
I previously attended a renowned cadet college. I had high
ambitions and my parents wanted me to get into the Bangladesh
army or study medicine. But I couldn't get into either. I
finally got into Rajshahi University. Now I feel like my parents
and family have started neglecting me ever since. They think
Rajshahi University is not as good as Dhaka University and
that my subject is not an honourable one. I know the results
of my department are better than those of DU students but
people will just think I'm being defensive. I'm in a dilemma.
If I try for admission into medical school, my current studies
will be hampered. I also don't want a gap in my studies. Now,
neither am I able to concentrate on my studies nor am I able
to make friends with my classmates. I'm very lonely and distressed.
Please help me.
It is now totally up to you to prove them wrong. Perhaps
your parents are disappointed that it did not work out the
way they wanted. But I am sure they still love you and do
not have any intention of neglecting you. It is high time
that you put this behind and look ahead. That is, getting
excellent grades in the subject that you are presently studying.
There is no need to get into the debate of which university
is better. The deciding factor is what you do with your life
after you come out of university. The first step in this direction
is to graduate with good grades and plan your career. Remember,
nothing succeeds like success. Everyone will stop talking
when they see you succeed and this only you can do.
I've had a really good friend these last two years who was
also like a girlfriend. We had a lot in common. Recently,
however, she told me that she can't be in this relationship
anymore and that she wants to go abroad. She has already been
accepted at an university in the UK. At first, I wanted her
to go and encouraged her as I was also planning to go abroad.
I wanted both of us to get a good education while staying
in touch even while abroad, just like any committed couple.
But now she's saying that she wants to settle there and doesn't
want to come back. I wanted us to be together all our lives
but my plans are going all wrong. She's being selfish and
putting her own career above our relationship. But she's saying
that I'm not looking at things from her point of view though
I think I am. I don't know why she's doing this. Should I
just forget her and move on or wait for her in case she comes
back after some years?
It is not fair to accuse her of being selfish when all
she is doing is trying to be independent. I do not know how
old you are but at this age it is better not to get tied down
in any serious, permanent relationships. Accept the fact that
she is going but keep in touch. Who knows, over the years,
both of you might change and realise that you are not as well
matched as you thought. I do not think it is necessary to
make decisions about forgetting her and getting on with life
or waiting for her.
I am a college student. I need to study a lot but I just can't
concentrate on my studies. I waste time talking to people
all day long when I should be studying. Every day I tell myself
that I will study regularly from the day after but I can't
do it. I am a good student but this is a major drawback which
is turning me into a bad student. Please help.
I have answered this kind of question before. My response
has been that in this kind of a situation only you can help
yourself. You just have to get out of the rut and tell yourself
that from today, not tomorrow or the day after, but today
you will sit and study. If anything is bothering you then
you should also talk about that with someone. Remember, time
lost is something you can never get back, therefore do not
waste it. Think about all the opportunities you have that
others do not and put your mind back to studies.
(R) thedailystar.net 2004