the Steps of Humanity
Time Goes By - A Brief History Lesson...
: A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea
is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing
the business ethic for all times.
: The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern
games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer
with a moustache in the women's shot put.
: Tens of thousands of Chinese labour for a generation build
the 1,500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that,
it still doesn't keep the neighbour's dog out.
: Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total disagreement
over what to call next year.
St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving
the natives something interesting to fight about for the rest
of their recorded history.
The world's first stock exchange opens but no one has the
foresight to buy IBM or Xerox.
An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's case and cancels her
death sentence. Unfortunately for her, she was put to death
The Indians laugh themselves silly as the first European tourist
to visit Virginia tries to register as "John Smith".
Samuel Johnson issues the first English Dictionary, at last
providing young children with a book they can look up dirty
The shooting of three people in the Boston Massacre touches
off the Revolution. 200 Years later, three shootings in Boston
will be considered just about average for a Saturday Night.
Robert Fulton invents the torpedo.
Robert Fulton invents the steamship so he has something to
blow up with his torpedo.
People with Reservations for the voyage of the Titanic get
their money back.
love to sleep. It really is the best of both worlds. You get
to be alive and unconscious."
*Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast
to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
*If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out
of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
*What do you call male ballerinas?
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
*Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he
gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he can't
wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
*Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
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