Little Bundle of Joy!
changes everything, but parenthood also changes with each
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
obstetrician/ gynecologist confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing
and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt
Fatema, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where
your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!
for the birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember
that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate
them and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean
and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
1st baby: At the first sign of distress -- a whimper, a frown
-- you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to
wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember
to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only
if she sees blood.
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure
your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from
Q & A
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile
at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman
and a model?
A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's
good for him).
How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.
Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while
my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything
Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin
to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Baby on the Way
For weeks, a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade
teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected
at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements
of the unborn child.
The six-year-old was obviously impressed, but he made no
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Bablu,
whatever became of that baby brother or sister you were
expecting at home?"
Bablu burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy
(R) thedailystar.net 2004