know you're a graduate student when…
...you can analyse the significance of appliances you cannot
...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track
the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want
...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for
...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting
...you have ever spent more than 5000 taka on photocopying
while researching a single paper.
...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider
...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic
flow at the library.
...you look forward to summers because you're more productive
without the distraction of classes.
...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
...you consider all papers to be works in progress.
...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than
the actual text.
...you have given up trying to keep your books organised and
are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
... you reflexively start analysing those Greek letters before
you realise that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in
...you start referring to stories like "Snow White et
...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without
...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards
...you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself
as "personal communication".
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking
and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste
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