day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast
on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why
are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while
and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs
middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she has a near death experience.
During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it.
God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to
live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital
and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy
She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She
figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well
make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the
last operation and is killed by an ambulance.
She arrives in front of God and complains: "I thought
you said I had another 30 years!!
God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognise you."
is appearing for his University final examination which consists
of Y/N type questions.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes
his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin
and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the
class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he
is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is
"Oh, I finished the exam in half an hour." he says,
"Now I am rechecking my answers."
cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant
opened by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu...
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Politician: $100.00.
cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such
a price difference for the politician?"
The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of
assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They
follow his every move for months, and find out that every
day at noon he goes outside and does his stretching exercises.
So the assassins set up shop right across the street, get
all of their sights set, load the guns, and have everything
ready to go.
Noon comes, no dictator... 10 minutes longer... no dictator.
One assassin turns to the other and says, "Gee, I hope
nothing happened to him."
(R) thedailystar.net 2004