were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got
too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put
the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the
hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his
chum, and finds him playing tennis.
says his friend. "Medical science is amazing."
month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill
working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade
and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes
the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital
to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his
chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!,"
says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!"
month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill
cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close
to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes
the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital
to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend
but can't find him.
the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where
is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."
thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put
his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad
and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector
decides to give Ronju a pop quiz, asking: "What would
you do if you realised that two trains were heading towards
each other on the same track?"
Ronju says: "I would switch one train to another track."
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
"Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever
down there," answers Ronju.
"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges
"Then," Ronju continued, "I'd run back up here
and use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"In that case," Ronju argued, "I'd run to the
street level and use the public phone near the station."
"What if that had been vandalised?"
"Oh well," said Ronju, "In that case I would
run into town and get my Uncle Anwar."
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you
"Because he's never seen a train crash."
you know how tough it is being a man...?
put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the
rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
*If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
*If you work too hard there is never any time for her. If
you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
*If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is
exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low
pay, you should stop being lazy and find something better.
*If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
*If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
*If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.
*If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated
*If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's
domination. If she asks you, it's a favour.
*If you appreciate the female form, you're a pervert. If you
don't, you're gay.
*If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you
don't, you're a slob.
*If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't,
you're not thoughtful.
*If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious.
*If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache,
you don't love her anymore.
*If you show too much affection, you're overdoing it. If you
don't, there must be someone else.
(R) thedailystar.net 2004