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     Volume 4 Issue 34 | February 18, 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a second year Honours student of a renowned college. For about two years, I've been in love with a man from a less renowned college. I love him very much, especially because he works very hard in order to have a successful career. But I am the only daughter of my parents. They get many marriage proposals for me where most of the men live abroad and are highly qualified and so my parents have big dreams for me. I told my love that he has to do very well that I would be able to marry him. But I don't want to dishonour my parents in society. What if my love fails to achieve success? Should I do as my parents say? Please help me; I'm very tense.

Dear Tensed,
As they say, "love conquers all". If you are really in love then you should be patient and give him a chance to prove himself. Your parents might have dreams for you and that includes your happiness. Although a certain amount of wealth is required, it is not the only criteria for a happy marriage. If both of you work hard to follow your dreams with determination then you will succeed in convincing your parents. They of course want what is best for you and will only be convinced if you prove that the man you have chosen is the best for you.

Dear Mita,
I am 27 years old and studying English at MC College. Unfortunately, I had to stop studying at the secondary level but, 10 years later, I did my SSC and HSC at Bangladesh Open University. I could've gotten into a pass course last year but I wanted an Honours degree in English literature so I lost another year and am now in my first year. My problem is that my older brother is always discouraging me about my studies because by the time I graduate, I will be over 32 and will not qualify for a government job. I cannot make him understand that I can work at a grocery shop my whole life, that is not what's important, but I really want to study. How can I make him understand?

Dear Hopeless,
The best way to deal with this is to get excellent grades. This will convince your family that you really want to do this. You have to explain to your brother that it does not matter that you will be too old for a government position since you are not interested in doing that anyway. However, you must at the same time have a career plan and then work towards it. This is the only way to make your brother understand.

Dear Mita,
One of my friends loves a girl who is also my friend. But the girl doesn't love him, or so it seems, and so we (his friends), along with his parents, have tried to make him understand this. But it didn't work and my friend is going astray and taking drugs. Recently, the girl has been talking to another guy on the phone and trying to have a relationship with him and this has also hurt my friend a lot. He has fallen into a depression and we are unable to help him. What can we, and especially I, as his best friend, do to help?

Dear S,
As a friend, you have to try and help your friend. However, he must take responsibility for his actions. Getting jilted in love is a part of growing up. Your friend has to learn that one cannot get everything that one wants. If the girl is no longer interested then he will have to accept it and get along with his life. Please counsel him as much as you can, talk to his family and other friends. But remember, he has to help himself first.


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